CHAPTER XVII.
the princess of heaven begins to suffer AFFLICTION; GOD ABSENTS HIMSELF FROM MOST HOLY MARY: HER SWEET AND AMOROUS SIGHS.
第十七章
天堂的公主开始受苦;天主离开至圣的玛利亚;她甜美多情的叹息(思慕)。
677.The Most High, who in his infinite wisdom dispenses and regulates the welfare of his beloved ones according to weight and measure, resolved to exercise our heavenly Princess with some afflictions adapted to her age and state of childhood. Though She was always great in grace, He wished by this means to increase her glory.
677.至高者以祂无限的智慧,按着度量衡分配和管理祂所爱之人的福祉,祂决定用一些适合我们天堂公主的年龄和童年状态的痛苦来锻炼她。虽然她总是满被圣宠,但天主希望通过这种方式来增加她的荣耀。
For entirely filled with grace and wisdom was our Child Mary; nevertheless it was befitting, that She should learn by experience and thus make advancement and understand better the science of suffering, which only experience can bring to its ultimate perfection and thoroughness.
我们的孩童玛利亚,虽然满披恩宠和智慧。然而,她应该从经验中学习,从而取得进步,更好地理解受苦的学问,只有经历才能使受苦的学问达到终极的圆满和完全。
During the brief course of her tender years She had enjoyed the delights of the Most High and his caresses, and of the angels and of her parents, and in the temple, the tender love of her teachers and of the priests, because in the eyes of all of them She was most gracious and amiable.
在她短暂的幼年生涯中,享受过至高者的喜悦和祂的爱抚,又得到天使和父亲的喜悦和关怀,并在圣殿里得到她的教师和司祭们的爱,因为在他们所有人的眼中,她是最有恩宠和最可爱的。
It was now time that She should commence to know all the good She possessed in another light and by another knowledge; namely, the one which is acquired by the absence and privation of the good, and that She make use of it for the practice of those virtues, which arise from comparison between the state of favors and caresses with the state of dereliction, aridity and tribulation.
现在是时候了,是她开始从另一个角度和另一种知识,来了解她所拥有的一切美好事物。也就是说,这种美德是从善的缺失和匮乏中获得的,她利用这种不足来操练那些美德,而这种美德是在遗弃、神枯、苦难的状态下,在恩惠和关怀之间的比较而生产的。
678. The first affliction, which our Princess suffered, was that the Lord suspended the continual visions, which He had so far vouchsafed Her.
678.我们的公主所遭受的第一个痛苦是天主暂停了祂一直以来赐予她的神视异象。
So much the greater was the sorrow occasioned Her thereby, in proportion as it was a new and unaccustomed experience and in proportion as the treasure thus withdrawn was high and precious.
正因为这是一种新的不习惯的经历,而且由于被收回的宝藏又崇高又珍贵,因此,她所遭受的痛苦就更大了。
Also the holy angels concealed themselves from Her, and at the withdrawal from her sight of so many, so excellent and heavenly beings, which took place all at once (although they did not cease to surround Her invisibly for her protection), that most pure Soul seemed to Herself entirely forsaken and left alone in the dark night occasioned by the absence of her Beloved.
而且那些圣天使也向她隐藏了自已,当她看到那么多、那么卓越、那么神圣的天使都突然在她眼前消失了(尽管他们並没有停止在她的周围无形的保护着她),在她看来,她那个最纯洁的灵魂似乎完全被遗弃了,孤零零地留在因她心爱者不在而引起的黑夜里。
679.It was a great surprise to our little Queen; for the Lord, though He had in general prepared Her for the coming of tribulations, had not specified their nature.
679.这对我们的小元后来说是一个很大的震惊;因为天主虽然已经为她准备好了苦难的来临,但并没有指明苦难的性质。
And as the innocent heart of the most simple Dove harbored no thoughts, and entertained no practical conclusions except such as were conformable to her humility and incomparable love, She explained all according to this same light.
由于最纯朴的“鸽子”的天真的心没有自己的看法,也没有任何实际的结论,只有符合她的谦卑和无与伦比的爱的结论,所以她根据同样的光照解释了这一切。
In her humility She began to think, that She had not merited the further presence and possession of the lost Good on account of her ingratitude; and in her inflamed love She sighed and yearned after It with such great and loving affection and sorrow, that there are no words to express them.
在她的谦卑中,她开始想,由于她的忘恩负义,她不配再得到她失去的美好的东西。在她那炽烈的爱情中,她怀着无限的深情和悲哀,叹息着,渴望着,这种渴望是无法用言语来表达的。
She turned with her whole soul to the Lord in this new state and said to Him:
在这个新的状况下,她用整个灵魂转向上主,对祂说:
680.“Highest God and Lord of all creation, infinite in bounty and rich in mercies, I confess, my Lord, that such a vile creature cannot merit thy favors and my soul in utmost sorrow reproaches itself with its own ingratitude and with the loss of thy friendship.
680.「至高的天主和万物之主,我的上主,我承认,这样一个卑微的人配不上您的恩惠,我的灵魂为自己的忘恩负义和失去您的友谊而自责。
If my ingratitude has eclipsed the Sun, which vivified, animated and illumined me, and if I have been remiss in giving thanks for the great benefits, I acknowledge, my Lord and Shepherd, the sin of my great negligence.
如果我的忘恩负义使那让我得生命气息、让我有生机、照亮我的太阳黯然失色,如果我对这伟大的恩惠疏于感谢,我的上主和牧人,我承认我犯了重大的粗心的罪。
If, like an ignorant and simple little sheep, I did not know how to be thankful and do what is most acceptable in thy eyes, see me prostrate on the earth, adhering to the dust, in order to be raised from my poverty and destitution by Thee, my God, who dwellest on high.
我若像一只无知愚拙的小羊,不晓得怎样感谢你,也不知道如何行你眼中所喜悦的事,请看我俯伏在地上,卧在尘土里,为求祢,我的天主,驾御高天穹苍住在高天的天主,把我从贫穷和匮乏中救出来。
Thy powerful hands have formed me (Job 10, 8), and Thou canst not be ignorant of our composition (Psalm 102, 14) and in what kind of a vase Thou has placed thy treasures.
你大能的手形成了我(约伯记10:8),你不可能不知道我们的组成(圣咏102:14),以及你把你的珍宝放在什么样的器皿里。
[经文〈约伯记10: 8〉:你亲手形成了我,创造了我;此后你又转念想消灭我。 经文〈咏 103: 14〉:他原知道我们怎样形成,也记得我们不过是灰尘。]
My soul wastes away in bitterness (Psalm 30, 11) ; and in thy absence, since Thou art its sweetest life, only Thou canst restore its drooping life.
你不在的时候,我的心在痛苦中枯槁(圣咏30:11);因为你是它最甜蜜的生命,只有你才能恢复它的生命。
[经文〈圣咏31:11〉:我的生命因忧伤而耗尽,我的岁月在涕泣中消逝,我的精力因悲伤而衰退,我的骸骨也已枯槁腐蚀。 ]
To whom shall I go in thy absence? Whither shall I turn my eyes without having light to direct them? Who shall console me, when all is affliction ? Who shall preserve me from death, when there is no life left?”
你不在的时候我该去找谁呢?没有光指引我的眼睛,我该往哪里看呢?当一切都是痛苦时,谁来安慰我?当没有生命存留的时候,谁能保护我免于死亡? 」
681.She also turned toward the angels and continued without ceasing in her loving complaints, saying to them: “Celestial Princes, ambassadors of the great and highest King and most faithful friends of my soul: why have you also left me ?
681.她又转向天使们,不停地充满爱意地抱怨着,对他们说:「天上的王子们,伟大而至高的君王的使者,我灵魂的最忠实的朋友,你们为什么也离开我呢?
Why do also you deprive me of your sweet countenances and deny me your intercourse ?
你们为什么还要隐藏自已甜美的面容,拒绝与我交往呢?
But I do not wonder, my lords, at your displeasure, if through my unthankfulness I have merited to fall into the disgrace of your and my Creator.
但我并不诧异,我的主人们,你们的不满,如果是由于我的忘恩负义而引起的,那么我应该失去你们的宠爱,也不配得到造物主的亲睐。
Lights of the heavens, enlighten me in my ignorance in this matter, and if I have been at fault, correct me and obtain again for me the pardon of my Lord.
天堂之光,请启迪我在这件事上的无知,如果我错了,请纠正我并使我再次获得上主的宽恕。
Most noble courtiers of the celestial Jerusalem, have pity on my sorrow and dereliction: tell me where is my Beloved; tell me where He has hidden Himself (Cant. 3, 3).
天上耶路撒冷最高贵的侍者们,可怜我的悲伤和失职:告诉我,我心爱的在哪里;告诉我祂藏在哪里了(雅歌3:3),
[经文〈雅歌 3:3〉:城里巡夜的卫兵,遇见了我,我便问道:“你们看见我心爱的吗? ]
Tell me where I can find Him without wandering about, (Cant. 1, 6) and without going through the gatherings of all the creatures.
告诉我,在哪里我可以找到他,而不是在人群中四处寻觅(雅歌1:6)。
[经文〈雅歌 1:6〉:你们不要怪我黑,是太阳晒黑了我。我母亲的儿子向我发怒,派我去看守葡萄园;而我自己的葡萄园,我却没有去看守。 ]
But woe to me, for you do not answer, though you are so courteous and well know the hiding-place of my Spouse, since He never withdraws his face and his beauty from your sight!”
但我太悲哀了,因为你们不回答,虽然你们是如此的有礼貌,也很清楚我净配的藏身之处,因为祂从来没有让祂的脸和祂的美好离开你们的视线! 」
682.Thereupon She turned toward all the rest of creation and in continual anxieties of her love She spoke to them and said: “Without doubt you also, being thankful, and being armed against all the ungrateful, are exasperated against her, who was ungrateful.
682.于是,她转向其它的受造物,不断地渴望着祂的爱,她对它们说:「你们即存感激的心,又防备一切忘恩负义的人,也就对那忘恩负义的人发怒了。
But even if by the goodness of the Lord you permit me to remain in your midst, although I am so vile, you cannot thereby satisfy my longings.
但是,即使凭主的良善,你们允许我留在你们中间,尽管我是如此卑微,你们也无法满足我的渴望。
Very beautiful and extensive are ye, O heavens; beautiful and refulgent are the planets and all the stars; great and mighty are the elements, the earth is adorned and clothed in the perfumed plants and herbs, innumerable are the fishes of the waters, admirable are the elevations of the sea, (Psalm 92, 4), swift are the birds in their feathery weight, hidden are the minerals, courageous are the animals in their strength, and all of these together serve as a gradual ascent and in a sweet harmony teach the way to my Beloved; yet they are but circuitous paths for one that loves Him, and if I course swiftly over them I find myself at the end absent from my blessedness.
诸天啊,你们极其美丽广大;行星和恒星极其美丽灿烂;元素是美妙和强大的,大地被芬芳的植物和香草为装饰,水中的鱼多得不可胜数,汪洋大海的波峰令人赞叹(咏93:4),羽毛般轻盈的鸟儿快速飞行,矿物是隐藏的,动物们的力量强大,勇往直前,所有这些都逐步效力提升,并在甜蜜的和谐中教导我通往我的至爱的道路;然而,对于一个爱主的人来说,这些都是迂回的道路,但如果我快速地越过它们,我会发现自己最终与幸福失之交臂。
[经文〈咏 93: 4〉:高天的上主,具有大能,压倒滔滔洪水的巨声,冲散汪洋大海的波峰。 ]
For with the measured approach of these creatures to his unmeasurable bounty, my flight is not content, my sorrow is not allayed, my pains are unrelieved, my anguish increases, my desires are augmented, my heart is more inflamed and faints away in the unsatiating love of mere earthly things.
因为这些受造物缓慢而稳定地接近造物主不可衡量的慷慨,我的逃避是不行的,我的悲伤没有减轻,我的痛苦没有缓和,我的苦恼增加,我的欲望增强,我的心在对世俗事物的永不满足中,灵魂时时都渴慕天主的爱,直到精疲力竭。
O sweet death in the absence of my life! O sorrowful life in the absence of my very soul and of my Beloved! What shall I do?
哦,在我生命消失的时候的甜蜜死亡!啊,令人悲伤的生活,我的灵魂和我心所爱者都不在了!我该怎么办?
Whither shall I turn? How can I live, yet how can I die ? Since my life is wanting, what force sustains me?
我该转向哪里?我该如何生活,又该如何死去?既然我的生命有所欠缺,什么力量可以支撑我?
O all you creatures, that with your ever renewed existence and perfections give me such tokens of my Lord, attend and see whether there is a sorrow like unto my sorrow!” (Thren. 1, 12.)
啊,你们所有的受造物,随时随地向我彰显祂的荣耀,就如祂穿
上可见的、满有荣光的外袍彰显祂自己。请你们细细观察,看看有没有痛苦能像我所受的痛苦!(耶肋米亚哀歌1:12)
[经文〈耶肋米亚哀歌 1: 12〉:一切过路的人啊!请你们细细观察,看看有没有痛苦能像我所受的痛苦?因为上主在他盛怒之日,折磨了我! ]
683.Our heavenly Lady indulged her sorrow in many other discourses, expressing them in spoken words, such as cannot be conceived by other created understanding; for She alone possessed the wisdom and love properly to estimate the meaning of the absence of God in a soul, since She alone had known and enjoyed his presence in its highest beatitude.
683.我们天上的圣母在许多其他的话语中沉溺在她的悲伤,这是其他受造物无法理解的;因为只有她拥有智慧和爱,可以真正地判断天主的不在对灵魂的意义,因为只有她在至高的真福中认识并享有了天主的临在。
But if even the angels, in a holy and loving emulation, were filled with admiration to see a mere creature and so tender a Child exercising such a variety of acts of the most prudent humility, of faith, of love, of affection, and such flights of a loving heart, who can ever explain the pleasure and delight, which the Lord himself took in the soul of the chosen One and in its aspirations, of which each one wounded the heart of his Majesty and which proceeded from a greater and more loving graciousness than He had given to the seraphim ?
但即使是天使们,在一场圣洁而充满爱的模仿中,也充满了钦佩,看到一个纯粹的受造物,一个如此温柔的孩子,采取了各种各样的行为,最谨慎的谦卑、信德、爱德、爱慕的行为,以及一颗充满爱的心,并且是出于一种比祂给予色辣芬更大、更慈爱的恩宠,除她之外,谁能解释上主自己在这位被拣选者的灵魂和愿望中所感受到的快乐和喜悦呢?
And if they altogether, being in the continual presence of the Divinity could not exercise or imitate the example given by the most holy Mary, nor fulfill the laws of love so perfectly as She in the absence and concealment of her God, what was the complacency of the most holy Trinity in this Creature?
如果天使和人类在天主持续的临在中,既不能操练或效法至圣玛利亚所给出的榜样,也不能像她那样,当天主不在和隐藏时那样完美地履行爱的律法,那么至圣天主圣三对玛利亚这个完美的受造物,是何等的满意呢?
This is a mystery hidden to our littleness; but it is meet, that we worship it in wonder and admire it in all reverence.
至圣玛丽亚的受造,对渺小的我们是一个隐藏的奥秘;但正是这种奇妙的受造,我们应当以惊奇和崇敬全然地敬畏它。
684.Our most innocent Dove found no peace for her heart nor any footrest for her affections (Gen. 8, 9) while thus with incessant sighing She took her flight through all the range of creation and beyond.
684.我们最纯真的鸽子,她的心找不到安宁,她的爱慕之情也找不到落脚的地方(创世记8:9),就这样,她不停地叹息着,飞行穿越整个天地万物甚至更远。
[经文〈创 8: 9〉:但是,因为全地面上还有水,鸽子找不着落脚的地方,遂飞回方舟;诺厄伸手将它接入方舟内。 ]
Many times She sought to approach the Lord in tears and loving complaints, She turned to the angels of her guard and addressed all the creatures as if they were capable of reason; then She would ascend to that highest habitation by her penetrating intellect and her most ardent affections, where the highest Good had met Her and where She reciprocally with It had enjoyed ineffable delights.
许多时候,她试图用眼泪和充满爱的哀告接近上主,她转向守护她的天使,向所有的受造物说话,仿佛它们都有理性;然后,她将凭借她敏锐的才智和最热烈的爱慕之情,登上那至高的居所,在那里,至善与她相遇,她也在那里享受着无法言喻的快乐。
But the most high Lord, her beloved Spouse, who allowed Her to possess and yet not enjoy Him as before, inflamed by this possession of Him only more and more her most pure heart, increasing her merits and showering upon Her continually new, though hidden gifts, in order that, in possessing Him the more, She might love the better, and being more loved and possessed, She seek Him with ever greater anxiousness and contrivances of her fiery love.
但至高的上主,玛利亚深爱的“净配”,允许玛利亚得着祂,却不能像以前那样享受祂,玛利亚最纯洁的心因得着祂而燃烧得越来越炽烈,使玛利亚的功德不断地增加,不断地向她倾注新的恩赐,然而是隐藏的恩赐,以便玛利亚越得着祂,就越爱祂,越被祂爱和越被祂得着,她怀着越来越强烈的焦虑和她炽热爱情的发明寻求他。
“I seek Him,” said the heavenly Princess, “and I do not find Him (Cant. 3, 2) ; again I was awakened and, running through the streets and squares of the city of God, I renewed my anxieties.
「我去寻觅祂, 」天国的公主说,「但我找不到祂(雅歌3:2);我又一次被唤醒,我穿过天主之城的街道和广场,我重新开始了我的渴望。
[经文〈雅歌3: 2〉:我遂起来,环城巡行,在街上,在广场,寻觅我心爱的;我寻觅,却没有找着。 ]
But alas for me! that my hands distilled the myrrh (Cant. 5, 5) ; my diligence is of no avail, my exertions serve only to increase my sorrow.
但是,天呐!我的手滴下没药,我的勤奋毫无用处,我的努力只会增加我的悲伤。
[经文〈雅歌 5: 5〉:我起来给我的爱人开门,一摸门闩,我的手就滴下没药,手指滴下纯正的没药。 ]
My Beloved absents Himself: I call Him and He does not answer me, I turn my eyes to seek Him, but the guards and the sentinels of the city, and all creatures were an annoyance to me and offended my sight. Daughters of Jerusalem, holy and just souls, you I beseech, you I supplicate, if you meet my Beloved, tell Him that I am faint and that I am dying with love.”
我的爱人不在:我呼唤祂,祂不回答我,我转目寻找祂,但城市的守卫和哨兵,以及所有的人都是我的烦恼,冒犯了我的视线。耶路撒冷的女儿们,神圣而公正的灵魂,我乞求你们,我恳求你们,如果你们遇见我的爱人,告诉祂我很虚弱,我正因爱而死去。 」
685.In these sweet and loving lamentations our Queen continued for several days, like the humble spikenard giving forth most fragrant odors of sweetness.
685.我们的元后在这些甜蜜而充满爱意的哀歌中持续了好几天,就像低微的香膏散发出最芬芳的香味。
But the Lord remained unmoved by her anxieties and secreted Himself in the hidden recesses of her most faithful heart.
但是上主不为她的渴望所动,把自己隐藏在她最忠诚的内心深处。
The divine Providence, for its greater glory and for the superabundant merit of his Spouse, protracted this conflict in such a manner, that it continued for some time, though not very long; in the meanwhile our heavenly Lady suffered more spiritual torments and anxieties than all the saints together.
上主为了祂更大的光荣和祂净配丰富的功德,延长了这种冲突,它持续了一段时间,虽然不是很长;在此期间,我们天上的圣母比所有的圣徒加在一起遭受的灵性上的折磨和焦虑更多。
For She gradually began to be alarmed by the fear of having lost God and fallen into disgrace on account of her own faults; and no one can estimate or know, except the Lord himself, what and how great was the grief of that burning heart, which had known how to love so much.
因为她渐渐开始害怕失去天主,又怕因自己的过错而蒙羞。除了主自己,没有人能估计或知道,这颗知道如何去爱的火热的心所经历的痛苦是怎样的大。
To weigh this grief belongs to God alone, and in order that She might feel it in its fullest extent, She was left by God to the overwhelming anxiety and fear of having lost Him.
衡量这种悲伤只属于天主,为了让元后能最充分地感受到悲伤,她被天主留在失去祂的巨大焦虑和恐惧中。
instruction which my lady and queen gave me.
我的圣母和元后给我的指示
686.My daughter, all goods are estimated according to the appreciation in which creatures hold them: in so far they value them, as they know them to be good.
686.我的女儿,所有的善都是根据人对它的评价程度来估算的:就目前而言,人们很重视它,因为人们知道它是好的。
But since there is only one true Good, and all the others merely fictitious and apparent, it follows, that only the highest Good is to be appreciated and recognized.
但是,既然只有一种真正的“善”,而其它所有的善都只是虚幻和表面的,那么,只有至善才能被欣赏和承认。
Then only shalt thou give Him true appreciation and love, when thou shalt enjoy and esteem Him above all created things.
只有当你欣赏和尊重祂超过一切受造之物时,你才能给祂真正的敬重和爱。
By this appreciation and love will also be measured the sorrow of losing Him and from this thou canst understand somewhat my sentiments, at the time when the eternal God absented Himself from me, leaving me in my fears lest perhaps I had lost Him through my own fault.
通过这种敬重和爱,你也可以衡量失去祂的悲伤,从这一点上,你可以多少理解我的心情,当永生的天主离开我的时候,让我独自留在恐惧中,让我害怕是因为自已的过错而导致祂的离开,让我品尝这种痛苦的感受。
There is no doubt, that many times the sorrows of this anxiety and the force of love would have deprived me of life, if the Lord himself had not preserved it.
毫无疑问,如果天主没有亲自保全,许多次这种焦虑的悲伤和爱的力量会剥夺我的生命。
687.Imagine then, what ought to be the grief of losing God really by sin, if, without the bad effects of sin, the absence of our true Good could cause such terrible suffering to the soul, knowing at the same time, that it has not lost Him, but still possesses Him, though hidden and disguised to its present consciousness.
687.那么,想象一下,如果没有罪的不良影响,我们真正的“善”的缺失会对灵魂造成如此可怕的痛苦,同时知道,灵魂没有失去天主,但仍然拥有天主,尽管隐藏并伪装成当下的意识,那么,真正因罪而失去天主的悲伤应该是怎么样的呢?
But this wisdom seems far from the mind of carnal men: with a most perverse blindness they continue to make much of the visible and fictitious good, and they torment themselves and are disconsolate, whenever it fails them.
但是,这种智慧似乎与属血肉人的心思相差甚远:属血肉的人非常乖僻盲目,持续重视可见的和虚幻的善,一旦失败,他们就折磨自己,郁郁寡欢。
Because they never taste or recognize the highest and truest Good,they take no thought or reckoning of It.
因为他们从来没有品尝过或认识到至高至真的善,所以他们从不思索或考虑它。
And although my most holy Son has brought a remedy for this dreadful ignorance contracted by the first sin, by meriting for men faith and charity, thereby affording them the possibility of knowing and experiencing to a certain extent the Good, which they never have experienced; yet, O sorrow, how easily charity is wasted and set aside for any kind of pleasure, and how often faith remains without any fruit and is involved in death!
虽然我至圣的儿子为了第一宗罪所招致可怕的无知而带来了一种补救办法,为人们带来了信德与爱德,从而使他们有可能在一定程度上了解和体验他们从未经历过的善;然而,啊,可惜啊,爱德是多么容易被浪掷,被搁置于任何形式的享乐;信德当要结出果实,如果结不出任何果实,这种人活着就好像死了一样!
The sons of darkness live as if they had only a counterfeit or doubtful connection with eternity.
黑暗之子的生活,仿佛他们与永恒只有一种虚假的或可疑的联系。
688.Fear, my soul, this so slightly accounted danger; rouse thyself and live always in watchfulness and preparation for the attacks of the enemies, who never sleep.
我的灵魂,要惧怕这如此轻微的危险;唤醒你自己,永远生活在警惕中,为敌人的攻击做准备,他们从不睡觉。
Let thy meditation day and night be, how thou canst provide against losing the highest Good, which thou lovest. It is not befitting that thou sleep or slumber in the midst of invisible enemies.
你要昼夜默想,怎样才能防止失去最爱的至善,你在看不见的敌人中间睡觉或打盹是不合适的。
If sometimes thy Beloved hides Himself from thee, hope in patience and seek Him solicitously without ceasing, since thou knowest not his secret judgments.
如果有时你的爱人向你隐藏自己,请耐心地盼望,并不断地热切地寻求祂,因为你不知道祂隐秘的判断。
For the time of his absence and temptation provide thyself with the oil of charity and good intention, so that it fail thee not in time of necessity and that thou mayest not be rejected with the foolish and negligent virgins.
在祂隐藏的时候,和受试探的日子,你要给自己提供爱德和善意的油,免得在必要的时候缺乏,免得你和愚昧疏忽的童女一同被弃绝。