CHAPTER XII.
第十二章
Anne Catherine's Novitiate.
安纳•加大利纳的初学期
Anne Catherine passed her first months in the convent as a postulant in the secular dress, she and Clara Soentgen occupying the same cell.
安纳•加大利纳在修会度过了她的第一个月，作为一名初学生，她穿着在俗的衣服，她和克拉拉•索恩根同住一间小室。
She had no security of being permitted to remain in the community, but God gave her during this time strength sufficient to render herself useful.
她没有获准留在奥斯定修道院的保证，但在这段时间里，天主给了她足够的力量，使她成为有用的人。
She earned, besides, by her needle sufficient to supply her few necessities and to defray the expense of her reception to the habit.
此外，她做针线活还挣了一笔钱，足以满足她那为数不多的生活必需品，也足以支付她会衣的费用。
She thus escaped being sent away under the plea of uselessness, and on Nov. 13, 1802, she was clothed with the habit of the Order and formally admitted to the novitiate.
因此，她躲过了以无用为借口而被遣送走的命运，1802年11月13日，她穿上了修会的会衣，被初学院正式接纳为初学修女。
The worst cell in the house was assigned her.
会院里最差的小室分配给了她。
It had two chairs, one without a back, the other minus a seat ; the window-sill served as a table.
里面有两把椅子，一把没有靠背，另一把没有座位；窗台当桌子用。
"But," she declared years after, "that poor cell of mine appeared to me so well furnished, so grand, that it was to me a perfect heaven !"
「可是，」多年以后，她说，「那间简陋的小室 在我看来是如此的豪华气派，对我来说它就是一个完美的天堂！
We can readily imagine what the spiritual training of novices would be in a community in which the exercises employed in happier times for this end had fallen into disuse.
我们可以很容易地想象，在一个修会团体里，初学者的神操将会是怎样的，因为如今在这更幸福的年代里，修会中的初学训练已经被废弃了。
Anne Catherine sighed for the humiliation and obedience prescribed by the Rule, but there was no one to impose them.
安纳•加大利纳渴求会规规定的谦卑和服从，但这里没人强制实行这些会规。
She knew that the humility that springs from obedience is infinitely more efficacious and meritorious than self-imposed penance.
她知道，从服从中产生的谦卑，远比自愿做的赎罪善功更有效、更有功德。
But such occasions of meriting would never have been hers had not her Divine Betrothed intervened as Master to conduct His pupil to the highest perfection, and this He did precisely by those very circumstances which seemed so unfavorable to spiritual progress.
但是，如果不是她神圣的净配以导师的身份介入，引导祂的学生达到最完美的境界，这样立功德的机会永远不会属于安纳，而天主正是通过那些看似不利于灵性进步的环境来实现这一点的。
Everything was to be a means of attaining this end and, in the same measure, a means of advancing the glory of God and the good of His Church.
一切都将成为修德成圣的手段，并以同样的方式增加天主的光荣和教会的益处。
A prudent mistress, one experienced in the spiritual life, would soon have discovered her novice's sublime vocation and would have directed her in accordance with it, tolerating in her no imperfection, no defect.
一个在神修生活方面有经验且谨慎的初学女导师，很快就会发现她的初学者的崇高圣召，并会依据这一圣召来引导她，且不容许她有任何不完美或缺陷。
Anne Catherine was naturally hasty. She had a keen sense of injustice, and resented it accordingly ; but to the mortification of these dispositions she could not attain without proper direction.
安纳•加大利纳天生性急。她对不公正有一种敏锐的感觉，并对此深恶痛绝；但是，如果没有适当的指导，她是不可能达到对这些偏情的克制的。
Almighty God, however, furnished the occasions for self-victory in these very points.
From the beginning of her novitiate, He permitted her to be unjustly suspected, accused, reprimanded, and penanced, all which she bore without murmur, excuse, or reply.
从她的初学期开始，天主就允许她受到不公正的怀疑、指责、训斥和惩罚，她却毫无怨言，没有借口，也没有辩解的承受了这一切。
We shall cite one instance among many of the kind.
我们将举出许多类似的例子中的一个。
The convent possessed but a B slender revenue from its lands ; and in order to increase its funds, it boarded for a trifling sum a few poor French nuns, emigrees, and an old gentleman, the brother of the Superioress.
修道院从其土地上获得的收入微乎其微。为了增加基金，修院留宿了几个可怜的法国修女、移民和一位老绅士，即女院长的兄弟，来获得微薄的收入。
The nuns, learning by chance that the old gentleman paid less than they, grew dissatisfied and accused the Superioress of injustice.
修女们偶然发现那位老绅士付的钱比她们的少，就不满起来，指责女院长不公正。
Then the question arose as to how the nuns had come by this information.
然后问题就来了，修女们是怎么得到这个信息的。
No Sister, of course, acknowledged herself guilty, and so the blame fell on the unfortunate novice, who was known to take a lively interest in the destitute religious banished on account of their profession.
当然，没有一个修女承认自己有罪，因此，指责落在这个不幸的初学修女身上。因为大家都知道，这位初学修女对那些因圣愿而被驱逐的穷困修道者非常关注。
Anne Catherine could say most truthfully that she knew not what either party paid and, consequently, she had nothing to reveal on the subject.
安纳•加大利纳可以非常诚实地说，她不知道任何一方付了多少钱，因此，在这个问题上她没有什么可以透露的。
But this was of little moment in the estimation of her accusers.
但是在那些控告她的人看来，这是无关紧要的。
She was reprimanded by the Superioress in full Chapter and she underwent the penance imposed.
在全体修女面前，安纳被女院长训斥了一顿，并接受强加的补赎。
At once there arose loud complaints in the community against the galling ingratitude, as they styled it, of this miserable peasant-girl.
一时间，修女们对这位可怜的农家女孩所谓的忘恩负义大加挞伐。
The innocent victim of all this clamor had to bear not only unjust suspicion and severe punishment, but she endured also the bitterness of having been, although involuntarily, the cause of such uncharitableness.
这一切声讨使这位无辜受害者不仅要承受不公正的猜疑和严厉的惩罚，还要忍受自己是这种不道德行为的罪魁祸首的痛苦，尽管这不是自愿的。
There was no one in the house to whom she might unburden her heart, no one to pour into her wound one drop of consolation.
修道院里没有一个人可以让她倾诉她的心事，没有一个人可以给她的伤口注入一滴安慰。
She overcame her feelings so far as not only to forgive them who had injured her, but also to render thanks to God for what she tried to look upon as a merited chastisement.
她克服了自己的感受，不仅原谅了伤害她的人，而且还向天主表达感谢，因为她努力把这看作是应得的惩罚。
The effort was, however, too trying on her delicate sensibilities. She fell seriously ill and recovered but slowly.
然而，这种努力对她那细腻的情感考验太大。她病得很重，且恢复得很慢。
About Christmas, 1802, she felt around her heart acute pains which prevented her attending to her customary duties.
大约在1802年圣诞节的时候，她感到自己的心脏一阵剧烈的疼痛，使她不能再做她的日常工作了。
In vain did she struggle against her sufferings, they did but increase ; it was as if she were being pierced by sharp arrows and she was, finally, obliged to keep her bed.
她与痛苦作斗争是徒劳的，痛苦只增不减；她的心仿佛被尖利的箭射穿了一样，最后不得不卧床休息。
In her humility, she dared acknowledge neither to herself nor to others the real cause of her malady, although she knew it from a vision vouchsafed her at the time of her clothing.
由于谦虚，她既不敢向自己承认，也不敢向别人承认她生病的真正原因，尽管她从穿衣服时的一个异象中知道了这一点。
The signification of the ceremony, as well as of every article of the religious dress, had been shown her.
在异象中礼仪以及会服上的每一件物品的意义都向她显明了。
She had, in consequence, received it with deep respect and gratitude. St. Augustine, patron of the Order, had shown her his heart burning with love, had clothed her with the habit, accepted her for his daughter, promised her his special assistance.
因此，她怀着深深的敬意和感激接受了这异象。圣奥斯定是这个修会的主保，他曾向安纳表达了炽热的爱，为她披上了会衣，接受安纳为自已的女儿，并承诺给予她特别的帮助。
At this sight so great a fire was enkindled in her breast that she felt herself more closely united to the community than with her own blood relations.
见此情景，安纳胸中燃起了一团烈火，她觉得自己同修会团体的联结比同自己的血缘关系的家人还要紧密。
The significance of the religious dress became then as real to her as the dress itself.
会服的意义对她来说，就像服装本身一样真实。
She was actually conscious of the spiritual union it established between her and the rest of the sisterhood.
她实际上意识到会服在她和其他姐妹之间，建立了灵性上的结合。
It was like a current flowing through the whole body, but ever returning to herself as to its source.
就像一股电流流遍全身，却又回流到了它的源头。
Her heart had become, so to say, the spiritual centre of the community.
可以说，她的心已成为修会团体的灵性中心。
Hers was the terrible mission of enduring the wounds inflicted upon the Heart of the Bridegroom by the sins and imperfections of its members.
她的可怕使命是忍受新郎之心因其成员的罪孽和不完美而造成的创伤。
She could advance but slowly in this way, for love did not render her insensible to pain and sorrow, and every infraction of vows or rules pierced her heart like a burning dart.
她可以用这样的方式慢慢前进，因为爱情不会让她对痛苦和悲伤无动于衷，每一次违背圣愿或会规的行为，都会像燃烧的箭一样刺痛她的心。
No one understood her state.
没有人理解她的状态。
The physician of the convent was called in.
修会的医生被叫了进来。
He pronounced her sufferings purely physical.
宣称说她的痛苦纯粹是肉体上的。
It was the first time in her life that she had been subjected to medical treatment.
这是她有生以来第一次接受医药治疗。
In her own home certain simple herbs, of whose virtues she herself possessed the knowledge, and a little repose quickly wrought a cure ; no one thought of having recourse to medicine.
昔日在她自己家里，她有某些简单的草药，她自己也知道这些草药的妙处，而且稍微休息一下，很快就治好了。家里没有人会想到要求助于药物。
Now it was very different.
现在情况却大不一样了。
The Rule imposed it as a duty to declare herself sick and to receive the care of the physician appointed.
根据规定，她有义务声明自己生病，并接受指定医生的治疗。
Although knowing her illness to be purely spiritual, to be relieved only by spiritual means, yet, as an obedient novice, she could refuse no remedy offered her.
虽然她知道她的病纯粹是灵性上的，只有通过灵性上的方法才能得到解脱，但是，作为一个发过服从愿的初学生，她不能拒绝任何治疗方法。
She quietly allowed herself to be treated, happy in having an occasion to practise obedience.
她安静地接受治疗，很高兴有机会锻炼听命服从。
That her submission might be still more perfect, Almighty God permitted the evil spirit to lay all kinds of snares for her.
为了使她的服从更完美，全能的天主允许恶灵为她设下各种圈套。
He appeared as an angel of light, and exhorted her to return to the world.
恶灵以光明天使的形象出现，并劝她回到世俗。
It would be sinful, he reasoned, to desire longer to bear a burden above her strength, and he pictured to her what she would have to endure from the Sisters, etc.
恶灵推断，要是她愿意再承担超出她能力范围的重担，那就是罪过了。恶灵向安纳描绘了她将不得不忍受修女们所带来的痛苦，等等。
But the sign of the cross put the tempter to flight even before he had finished his wily speech.
当安纳画了一个十字圣号之后，诱惑者还没说完牠的诡计就逃走了。Again he sought to rouse her resentment and make her murmur against Superiors, or he tried to inspire her with such fear of them as to force her to leave the convent.
又一次，恶灵试图激起安纳的怨恨，让她抱怨长上，或者恶灵试图激起安纳对修女们的恐惧，来迫使她离开修会。
One night he threw her into an agony of terror.
一天晚上，恶魔把她投进了一种恐惧的痛苦之中。
It seemed to her that the Superioress and the Novice-Mistress suddenly entered her cell, reproached her in unmeasured terms, declared her absolutely unworthy of their holy vocation, and ended by saying she should be expelled from the community.
她仿佛看到，院长和初学导师突然进了她的小室，毫不留情地责备她，宣布她完全不配享有她们的圣召，最后还说要把她赶出修会。
Anne Catherine received their rebukes in silence, acknowledged her unworthiness, and begged them to be patient with her.
安纳•加大利纳默默地接受了她们的责备，承认自己不配，并请求她们对她耐心些。
Then the angry nuns left her cell, abusing her as they went.
然后愤怒的修女们离开了她的小室，一边走一边辱骂她。
The poor novice wept and prayed till morning, when she sent for her confessor, told him what had occurred during the night, and asked him what she should do to appease the Superioress.
这个可怜的初学修女哭泣着，祈祷着，一直到早晨，当她派人去请她的听告解神父，告诉他那天晚上发生了什么事，并问他该怎么做才能使这位女院长平静下来。
But on inquiry, it was proved that neither the Superioress nor any other Sister had entered her cell at the time specified.
但经调查证明，女修道院院长和其他修女都没有在她描述的那个时间进过她的小室。
The confessor saw in it an attack of the evil one, and the novice thanked God for the deep feeling of unworthiness by which she had overcome the tempter.
听告解神父看到了这是恶魔的一种攻击，这位初学修女感谢天主，让她深深地感到自己不配，从而战胜了诱感。
After some weeks the physician's visits were discontinued.
几周后，医生停止了探访。
The community thought her cured ; but, in reality, it was not so.
修会团体认为她被治愈了；但实际上并非如此。
She was so weak and infirm that again the hue and cry was raised against the convent's burdening itself by the profession of such a member.
她是那样虚弱多病，以致人们呼声又起，反对修会接受这样一位成员的入会，使修会增加负担。
"Send her away at once," they said,"do not incur the obligation of keeping her altogether."
「马上把她送走，」她们说，「不要承担留下她的一切义务。」
These whispers, although perhaps at the other end of the building, were heard by the poor invalid as if spoken in her cell.
这些窃窃私语，虽然可能是在建筑的另一端，却被那个可怜的病人听到了，仿佛是在她的小室里说的。
All the little plots, all the thoughts of her Sisters against her, pierced her soul like so many fiery sparks, like so many red-hot spears, wounding her to the quick.
她的姐妹们对她的一切小计谋，一切反对她的想法都像无数燃烧的火花，像许多灼热的长矛，刺透了她的灵魂，把她伤得很深。
The gift of reading hearts which she possessed from her infancy, but which had never given her pain among the simple peasants, who all loved and reverenced her, now became for her a source of exquisite suffering.
她从小就具有看透人心的天赋，但在淳朴的农民中，这种天赋从来没有给她带来痛苦，他们都爱她，尊敬她，现在却成了她剧烈痛苦的根源。
All this was in accordance with the designs of God.
He willed that only by the perfection of virtue, should she surmount the obstacles she was to meet in her task of expiation.
天主安排这一切考验，安纳只有通过完美的圣德，才能克服她在补赎过程中遇到的障碍。
She saw the passions of her fellow-sisters, inasmuch as she had to struggle against them by her own prayer and mortification ; and by humility, patience, and charity she had to disarm those who opposed her making the religious vows.
她看到了同伴姐妹们的盛怒，因为她必须通过自己的祈祷和克己来与之抗争；她还必须通过谦逊、忍耐和爱德才能解除那些反对她矢发修道圣愿的人的武装。
If a word of complaint, a sign of dissatisfaction escaped her, she tearfully implored pardon with expressions of sorrow so touching that the Sisters became more kindly disposed toward her.
如果她说了一句抱怨的话，露出了一丝不满意的迹象，她就会含泪恳求原谅，悲伤的表情如此动人，以至于修女们对她友善些了。
Then she would run before the Blessed Sacrament and beg for strength to perform her duties.
"She redoubled her efforts to render herself useful and stilled the anguish of her heart with these words : "I will persevere, even if I should be martyred!"
「她加倍努力，使自己变得有用，并用这样的话平息内心的痛苦：『我将坚持下去，即使献出生命也在所不惜！』」
On a certain Friday in February, 1803, as she was praying alone before the Blessed Sacrament, there suddenly appeared before her a cross, eight inches in length, on which hung an image of the Saviour covered with blood.
1803年2月的一个周五，当她独自在圣龛前祈祷时，眼前突然出现了一个八英寸长的十字架，上面挂着一个满身是血的救主的苦像。
" I was," she says, "greatly agitated by this apparition.
I flushed and trembled, for I saw everything around me and the bloody crucifix before me.
我脸上发热，浑身颤抖，因为我看到了我周围的一切，还有摆在我面前的血淋淋的十字架。
It was not a vision, I saw it with my bodily eyes. Then the thought struck me that by this apparition God was preparing me for extraordinary sufferings.
这不是幻觉，是我用肉眼看到的。然后我突然想到，天主通过这次显现为我准备了非同寻常的苦难。
I shuddered ! — but the pitiable sight of my bl。ood-stained Jesus banished my repugnance, and I felt strong to accept even the most fearful pains if Our Lord only granted me patience to bear them."
我不寒而栗......！但看到血迹斑斑的耶稣，我的厌恶之情顿时消失了，我感到只要天主赐予我承受痛苦的耐力，即使是最可怕的痛苦，我也能坚强地接受。」
The presentment was soon realized. The gift of tears was bestowed upon her that she might weep over the outrages offered her Divine Betrothed and find in it for herself a fruitful source of humiliation.
这种预感很快就实现了。眼泪的恩赐被赋予了她，以便能为她神圣的净配所遭受的暴行而哭泣，并从中找到谦卑自己的丰富源泉。
Whenever anything was presented either to her corporal or mental sight which called for supernatural sorrow, it was impossible for her to restrain her tears.
无论什么时候，只要在她的肉体或精神上看到需要超性的悲伤，她就无法抑制自己的眼泪。
When she considered the sufferings and tribulations of the Church, when she saw the Sacraments conferred or received unworthily, her heart was so wounded that torrents of bitter tears flowed from her eyes.
当她想到教会的苦难和磨难，当她看到圣事被不当授予和领受时，她非常伤心，泪水夺眶而出。
If she beheld spiritual blindness, false piety veiling evil dispositions, grace despised or obstinately resisted, the truths of faith set aside, her tears flowed involuntarily, bathing her cheeks, her neck, her breast almost unknown to herself.
如果她看到属灵的盲目，虚假的虔诚掩盖了邪恶的倾向，恩典被轻视或顽固地抵制，信仰的真理被搁置一旁，她的眼泪就会不由自主地流下来，泪水流过的脸颊、她的脖子、她的胸膛，她自己几乎都没有察觉到。
In the chapel, at Holy Communion, at meals, at work, at community exercises, her tears would gush forth to the extreme displeasure of the religious. During Mass and Holy Communion, all eyes were turned upon her.
在小圣堂里，在圣体圣事上，在吃饭时，在工作时，在修会团体神操时，她的眼泪都会涌出来，使修女们感到极为不满。在弥撒和领圣体时，所有人的目光都投向了她。
This was all the notice she received, at first ; but, as her tears became more abundant, she was taken aside and reproached for her singular behavior.
起初，她只收到警告；但随着她的眼泪越来越多，她被带到了一边，并为她的奇特行为受到了责备。
She promised on her knees to correct ; but soon, next day perhaps, it was remarked that during Mass even the kneeling-bench was wet with her tears, a fresh proof as it was thought that the novice was still indulging wounded self-love.
她跪着答应改正；但不久，也许在第二天，人们注意到，在望弥撒时，连跪凳都被她的眼泪打湿了，这是一个新的证据，因为人们认为，这个初学修女仍然沉溺于使心灵受伤的自爱之中。
Again was she reprimanded, again was she penanced ; but her humility and submission were such that the Superioress was forced to acknowledge the poor novice's tears a greater mortification to herself than to others.
她又一次受到训斥，又一次勒令补赎；但是，由于她的谦逊和顺从，这位女院长不得不承认，这个可怜的初学修女的眼泪对她自己比对别人更难堪。
They were, in the end, ascribed to constitutional weakness and not to discontent or caprice.
最终，她的眼泪被归咎于体质上的柔弱，而不是不满或任性。
As to Anne Catherine, so far from looking upon them as supernatural, she anxiously examined whether they did not proceed from some secret aversion to the Sisters.
至于安纳•加大利纳，她非但没有把眼泪看作是超性的东西，反而焦虑地想知道眼泪是不是出于对修女们某种隐秘的厌恶。
She dared not decide for herself, and disclosed her fears to her confessor, who quieted her with the assurance that they sprang not from hatred but from compassion.
她不敢自己作决定，就把她的恐惧告诉了她的告解神父，听告解神父安慰她并向她保证说，她的恐惧不是来自仇恨，而是来自同情。
She hoped that time would mitigate the intensity of her feelings and that her tears would cease to flow.
她希望时间能缓和她紧张的感受，让她的眼泪不再流。
But this was not the case; they rather increased than diminished.
但事实并非如此；眼泪非但没有减少，反而增加了。
In her distress she applied to the other confessors appointed for the religious, but from all she received the same answer.
在她痛苦的时候，她向其它修会来的听告解神父求助，但得到的答复都是一样的。
Dean Overberg says on this point : —
奥弗伯格总铎在这一点上说：
“Anne Catherine so tenderly loved her Sisters in religion that she would willingly have shed her blood for them individually. She knew that several were against her, yet she did all in her power to propitiate them and rejoiced when any one asked her assistance. She hoped by kindness to win them over to their duty.
「安纳•加大利纳是如此温柔地爱着她的修女姐妹们，以至于她甘愿单单为她们流自己的血。她知道有几个人反对她，但她还是尽其所能去与她们和解，当有人向她求助时，她就感到很高兴。她希望通过善行来赢得她们的支持。
"God permitted that she should not be appreciated by the Superioress and Sisters who saw in all that she did either hypocrisy, flattery, or pride, and they failed not to reproach her openly.
天主允许她不被女修道院院长和修女们赏识，她们看她的一切行为，要么是虚伪，要么是奉承，要么是骄傲，她们无法做到不公开指责她。
At first she tried to justify herself; but afterward she merely replied that she would correct. She wept over the deplorable spiritual destitution of the religious; for whether at exercises of piety or other conventual duties, it was ever before her eyes.
起初，她试图为自己辩护；但后来她只是回答说她会改正。她为可悲的修道者的灵性匮乏而哭泣；因为无论是在虔诚的活动中，还是在其他修会的职责中，她的眼前总是浮现出可悲的情景。
" The tears she shed during the Holy Sacrifice were particularly displeasing to the nuns, and they held little whispered councils as to the most effective means of curing her of what they termed her sloth and caprice. All this added to her desolation, since she clearly knew what was passing in their inmost thoughts.
修女们对她在弥撒圣祭中流下的眼泪尤其不满，她们小声地商量着用什么最有效的方法来纠正她们所谓的懒惰和任性。这一切都让她更加惆怅，因为她清楚地知道她们内心的想法。
"She assured me that she knew all that was said or planned against her. ' I saw then even more clearly than I do now.' she said (April 22, 1813), l what passed in souls, and sometimes I let them see that I knew it.
「她向我保证，她知道所有针对她的言论或计划。『那时我比现在看得更清楚。』她说(1813年4月22日)，『我知道灵魂中发生的事，有时我让她们知道我知道她们所想的。
Then they wanted to know how I came by the knowledge, but I dared not tell them, and they straightway imagined that some one had told me.
然后她们想知道我是怎么知道的，但我不敢告诉她们，她们于是马上以为是有人告诉了我。
I asked my confessor what I should do. He told me to say that I had spoken of it in confession and to give no explanation on the subject.
我问我的听告解神父该怎么办。他要我回说，在办告解的时候我已经问过了，神父要我对这件事不作任何解释。」
On another occasion, she again alluded to her gift of tears : —
还有一次，她又提到了她的眼泪的恩赐：
"I would willingly have given my life for my sister-religious and, therefore, my tears could not be restrained when I saw them so irritated against me.
「我愿意把我的生命献给我的修会姐妹们，因此，当我看到她们对我如此恼火时，我的眼泪是无法克制的。
Who would not weep at seeing himself a stumbling-block in the house of peace, among the chosen of God? I wept over the poverty, the misery, the blindness of those whose hard hearts languished amidst the superabundant graces of our Holy Redeemer."
在和平之家，在天主的选民中，谁看见自己成为绊脚石，不会流泪呢？我为那些心硬的人在灵性上的贫穷、可怜和盲目而哭泣，她们在我们神圣救主的丰盛恩宠中衰败了。」
When, in 1813, Ecclesiastical Superiors demanded the testimony of the community of Agnetenberg concerning Anne Catherine, the Superioress, the Novice-Mistress and five of the other religious unanimously deposed as follows : —
1813年，当教会长上要求阿格尼滕堡修会团体的女院长、初学生导师和其他五名修女提供关于安纳•加大利纳的证词时，她们一致证词如下：
"Anne Catherine was affable and cordial, very easy to deal with, humble, condescending, and exceedingly preventing.
「安纳•加大利纳和蔼可亲、很容易相处、谦逊、屈尊俯就，非常谨慎。
In sickness she was admirable, ever resigned to the will of God.
在疾病中，她的表现令人钦佩，始终顺从天主的旨意。
She quickly and cheerfully forgave every offence against her, always asked pardon if she herself were in fault, never harbored ill-will, and was always the first to yield."
她很快就高兴地原谅了每一个反对她的冒犯，如果她自己有错，总是请求原谅，她从不怀恶意，总是第一个让步。」
And Clara Soentgen told Dean Overberg : —
克拉拉•索恩根告诉奥弗伯格总铎：
"Anne Catherine was never so happy as when serving the Sisters.
「安纳•加大利纳在为修女们服务时从来没有这么开心过。
They might ask what they pleased, she never refused she gladly gave them even what she needed most herself.
她们可能会索要她们喜欢的东西，她从来没有拒绝过，即使是她自己最需要的东西，她也乐意给她们。
If she had a preference, it was only for those that she knew disliked her."
如果说她有偏爱，那也只是偏爱那些她知道不喜欢她的人。」
Dean Rensing of Dulmen deposed, April 24, 1813: —
1813年4月24日杜尔门伦辛总铎的证词：
"I had been told of Anne Catherine having rendered great services to one of the Sisters during an illness, and I asked her why she did it.
「有人告诉我，安纳•加大利纳在一个修女生病期间为她做了极好的服侍，我问她为什么要这样做。
She answered : 'The Sister had sores on her feet and the servants did not like to wait on her as she was hard to please.
她回答说：『这位修女脚上有疮，仆人们不愿意伺候她，因为她难以取悦。
I thought it a work of mercy, and I begged her to let me wash her blood-stained bandages.
我认为这是一件仁慈的工作，于是我恳求她让我帮她清洗沾满血迹的绷带。
She had the itch, too, and I used to make up her bed, as the servants were afraid of catching her disease.
她也有瘙痒症，我经常给她整理床铺，因为仆人们害怕染上她的病。
But I confided in God and He preserved me from it.
但我信任天主，祂从其中保护我。
I knew that this whimsical Sister would not thank me when she got well, that she would again treat me as a hypocrite as she had often done before.
我知道，这个反复无常的修女姐妹在康复后不会感谢我，她会像以前那样把我当作一个伪君子。
But I said to myself, 'I shall have so much the more merit before God,'and so I went on, washing her linen, making her bed, and taking the best care I could of her."
但我对自己说：『我在天主面前将更有价值，』所以我就继续给她洗衣服，铺床，尽我所能照顾她。」
Anne Catherine understood so perfectly the signification of the religious vows, she so ardently longed to practise obedience in all things, that the fact of not being exercised in it by the commands of Superiors was a very grievous trial to her.
安纳•加大利纳完全理解修道圣愿的意义，她如此渴望在一切事情上都遵守服从，事实上，若不按照长上的命令而行使服从，对她来说是一个极难的考验。
She often begged the Reverend Mother to command her in virtue of obedience that she might practise her vow.
所以她经常恳求院长嬷嬷命令她服从，以便她能实践她的圣愿。
But such requests were looked upon as singular, the effects of scruples, and she received no other reply from the weak and indulgent Superioress than : " You know your duty" and thus she was left to herself.
但是，这种要求被认为是一种奇怪的、顾虑的结果，她没有得到这软弱和宽松女院长的其它回答，除了一句：『你知道你的职责』，就这样把这请求留给了安纳自己。
This want of training afflicted the novice even to tears. It seemed to her that the blessing attached to the religious state was not for her, since blind obedience to Superiors, so pleasing to her Divine Betrothed, was not permitted her.
这种神操训练的缺乏使这位初学修女很痛苦，甚至哭了起来。在她看来，修道生活的祝福并不属于她，因为她不允许盲目地服从长上，而这又何等讨她天主净配的喜悦。
In 1813, the Superioress deposed as follows: — "Sister Emmerich cheerfully and eagerly fulfilled the injunctions of obedience, especially when enjoined upon her individual! ."
1813年，女院长作证如下：
「艾曼丽修女愉快而热切地履行了服从的命令，尤其是当她个人被要求服从的时候。」
The Novice-Mistress says ;—
初学导师说：
" She practised obedience perfectly. Her only regret was that Reverend Mother laid no commands upon her."
「她完美地实践了服从圣愿。她唯一的遗憾是院长嬷嬷没有给她什么命令让她服从。」
If occasions of practising obedience were for the most part wanting, she tried to supply the loss by her interior submission and untiring attention to regulate all her actions according to the spirit and letter of the Rule.
如果说练习服从的机会在很大程度上是缺乏的，那么她试图通过内心的服从和不懈的寻找机会来弥补损失，并根据《会规》的精神和条文来规范自己的一切行为。
She would not live in religion in the mere practice of the still existing observances ; she aimed at moulding her whole interior and exterior life by its animating principle.
她不会仅仅依靠现有的纪律来度修道生活；她的目的是通过修会充满活力的会规，来塑造她的整个内在和外在的生活。
With this view she made it a careful study, and so great was her respect for it that she read it only on her knees.
有了这种意向，她把会规做了一个仔细的研究，她对会规的尊重是如此之大，以至于她只愿跪着读。
Sometimes whilst thus engaged, the light by which she was reading would be suddenly extinguished and the book closed by an invisible power.
有时，在阅读的时候，阅读的灯光会突然熄灭，这本书被一种看不见的力量合上。
She knew well by whose agency this was affected so, quietly relighting her candle, she set to work more earnestly than before.
她很清楚这是谁的手段，安静地重新点燃了她的蜡烛，她开始比以前更认真地读。
These attacks of the demon grew more sensible and violent, and amply indemnified her for the want of other trials.
恶魔的这些攻击变得更加明显和猛烈，并充分补偿了她对其他考验的不足。
If he maltreated her for seriously studying her Rule, she applied thereto more assiduously ; if he excited a storm against her in the community, it only gave her an occasion to practise blind and humble obedience as the following incident will prove :
如果恶魔因她认真研究《会规》而虐待她，她就会更加刻苦地遵守会规；如果恶魔在修会团体里对她激起一场风暴，在她看来，这只不过是给她一个锻炼绝对服从的机会，如下面的事件将证明的:
A rich merchant of Amsterdam had entered his daughter as a boarder in the convent. When about to return home, the young lady presented a florin to each of the nuns.
一位富有的阿姆斯特丹商人让她的女儿进修道院当寄宿生，当她要回家的时候，这位年轻的女士向每个修女们赠送了一个弗罗林。
（评注：florin弗罗林(荷兰货币盾）
But to Anne Catherine, for whom she had a special affection, she gave two, which the good novice immediately handed over to her Superioress. A few days after the whole house was up in arms.
但对于她特别喜爱的安纳•加大利纳，给了她两个，这个优秀的初学修女立即上交给院长。几天后整个会院的人都愤怒了。
Anne Catherine was cited before the Chapter, accused of having received five thalers from the young Hollander, of giving only two to the Reverend Mother, and of having handed over the other three to the organist Soentgen, who had just paid a visit to his daughter.
安纳•加大利纳在会议中被揪出来，被指控她从年轻的荷兰人那里得到了五泰勒，只给了院长嬷嬷两个，把另外三个交给了刚去看望女儿的管风琴师索恩根。
（评注：泰勒，旧时德意志诸国的大银币）
They appealed to her conscience, and Anne Catherine truthfully declared all that had passed.
她们要她凭良心说话，安纳•加大利纳如实说出了发生的一切。
The nuns redoubled their accusations, but she firmly denied having received five thalers.
修女们加倍指责，但她坚决否认收受了五泰勒。
Then sentence was passed upon the poor novice, She was condemned to ask pardon on her knees of each Sister.
然后，这个可怜的初学修女被判有罪，她被处罚跪在每个修女面前请求原谅。
She gladly accepted the undeserved penance, begging God to grant that her Sisters might pardon not only this imaginary fault, but all they saw displeasing in her.
她欣然接受了这不该有的处罚，并恳求天主允许她的修女们不仅原谅她们想象中的这个错误，而且原谅她们在她身上看到的所有不快。
Some months after the merchant's daughter returned, and the novice asked the Superioress to inquire into the affair.
几个月后，商人的女儿回来了，初学修女请求女院长去调查这件事。
But she received for answer to think no more of what was now forgotten. She obeyed and reaped the full benefit of the humiliation.
但她给出的回答是，不要再想现在已经忘记的事情了。她服从了，并从所受的羞辱中收获了谦卑的美德。
We see by this circumstance how prone these imperfect religious were to dislike and suspect their innocent companion, and also how quickly the storm was lulled even when at its height.
我们从这一情况中可以看出，那些不完美的虔诚教徒是多么容易厌恶和怀疑他们无辜的同伴，也可以看出，即使在暴风雨最猛烈的时候，暴风雨也会很快平息。
Their novice's demeanor produced impressions so varied upon them that we can scarcely wonder that, in their inexperience, their obtuseness to all beyond their every-day existence, they sometimes went astray.
初学修女的举止给她们留下了许多不同的印象，以至于我们不难理解，由于她们缺乏经验，她们对日常生活之外的一切都都懵懵懂懂，她们有时会误入歧途。
And, although Anne Catherine's sweetness and patience under such trials, her earnestness in begging pardon, could not fail to soften even the most exasperated, yet new suspicions, fresh charges soon arose against her.
尽管安纳•加大利纳在这样的考验下表现出温和忍耐，她恳求宽恕的诚恳态度，即使是最恼怒的人也会心软，然而，一波过后，一波又起，很快就会对她产生新的怀疑，提出新的指控。
There was in the richness of her supernatural life, in the varied and wonderful gifts imparted to her, in a word, in her whole being something too striking to remain hidden, or to allow her to tread the beaten paths of ordinary life like the other religious.
在她丰富的超性生活中，在赋予她的各种奇妙的恩宠中，总之，在她的整个生命中，有一种太引人注目的东西，让她无法隐藏，也无法让她像其他修道者一样踏上寻常的道路。
However great the simplicity and modesty of her bearing, there shone about her a something so holy, so elevated, that all were forced to feel, though they might not acknowledge her superiority; consequently, they regarded her as singular, tiresome, and disagreeable.
无论她的举止多么质朴谦逊，在她身上却闪耀着如此圣洁、高尚的光芒，让所有人都不得不感受到，尽管他们可能并不承认她的优越；最后，他们认为她是奇怪的、令人厌烦的、令人讨厌的。
Anne Catherine was drawn to the Blessed Sacrament by an irresistible force.
安纳•加大利纳是被一股不可抗拒的力量吸引到圣龛前的。
When some errand took her through the church, she fell as if paralyzed at the foot of the altar.
每当遇到需要办理什么差事途经教堂时，她就会倒在祭台下，好像瘫痪了一样。
She was ever in a state of contemplation and interior suffering which, in spite of every effort on her part, could not be wholly concealed.
她一直处于一种默观和内在受苦的状态，尽管她尽了一切努力，但还是无法完全掩饰。
To all around her she was simply a mystery, to some quite insupportable.
对她周围的人来说，她只是一个谜，对一些人来说她是无法忍受的。
Clara Soentgen deposed on this point as follows : —
克拉拉•索恩根在这一点上作证如下:
"Anne Catherine did her best to conceal the attraction which impelled her to extraordinary devotion ; but nothing could escape me, I knew her so well. I often found her in the chapel kneeling or prostrate before the Blessed Sacrament.
「安纳•加大利纳尽了最大的努力来掩饰那驱使她非凡虔诚的吸引力，但什么也逃不过我的眼睛，因为我太了解她了。我经常发现她在小教堂里跪着或匍匐在圣体前。
She was so powerfully attracted to contemplation that, even in the company of others, I could see that she was quite abstracted.
她被默观深深地吸引住，即使在别人的陪伴下，我也能看出她是完全心不在焉的。
She was much given to bodily mortification.
她做了很多肉体上的克苦。
At table I used to notice that she took the worst of everything, leaving dainty dishes untouched, or passing her share to her neighbor, especially if the latter had any ill-will toward her, and she was so pleased when a chance presented itself to do this that I was filled with astonishment."
在餐桌上，我常常注意到她只吃最差的食物，美味的食物碰都没碰过，或者把她的那一份给她的邻座，尤其是如果后者对她有什么敌意的话，而当她有机会这样做的时候，她是如此的高兴，对此，我充满了惊讶。」
The Novice-Mistress says : —
初学导师说：
"Several times during Anne Catherine's novitiate, I removed little pieces of wood from her bed.
「在安纳•加大利纳的初学院期间，我好几次从她的床上拿走小块木头。
She had put them there to render her rest uncomfortable, for she was much given to corporal mortification.
安纳把小块木头放在那里是为了让自己休息时不舒服，因为她很喜欢肉体的克苦。
I was sometimes obliged to make her leave the chapel at ten o'clock in winter and send her to bed ; otherwise she would have remained too long."
冬天有时我不得不让她在十点钟离开小教堂，然后送她回家，督促她上床睡觉，否则她会呆得太久。
On various occasions, Anne Catherine herself spoke of her early days in the convent. Clement Brentano, who carefully collected all her communications and reduced them to writing, gives us the following : —
在不同的场合，安纳•加大利纳自己也谈到了她在修道院的早期生活。克莱门特•布伦塔诺仔细收集了她所有的日常讲述，并将其整理成文，为我们提供了以下内容： - 她在修道院中的生活是怎样的？
"From the very beginning of my novitiate I endured incredible interior sufferings.
「从我初学院的开始，我就忍受着难以置信的内心痛苦。
At times my heart was surrounded by roses and then suddenly transpierced by thorns, sharp points, and darts, which arose from my perceiving much more clearly than I do now every injurious thought, word, or action against me.
有时我的心被玫瑰花包围，然后突然被荆棘和飞镖刺穿，这是因为我比现在能更清楚地察觉到每一个伤害我的想法、言语或行为。
Not one with whom I lived, no religious, no confessor, had the least idea of the state of my soul or the particular way by which I was led.
没有一个与我生活的同伴，没有一个修会里的姐妹，没有一个告解神父，对我的灵魂状态或引导我的特殊方式有丝毫的了解。
I lived wholly in another world of which I could make nothing known.
我完全生活在另一个我不能使人明了的世界里。
But, as on some occasions, in consequence of any interior direction, things appeared in me not in conformity with everyday life, I became a cause of temptation to many, a subject for injurious suspicion, detraction, and unkind remarks.
但是，在某些情况下，由于内心的指引，我身上显现出一种与日常生活不和谐的现象，我成了许多人受到诱惑的原因，成了有害的猜疑、诋毁和刻薄言论的对象。
These mortifying opinions and speeches entered my soul like sharp arrows, I was attacked on all sides, my heart was pierced with a thousand wounds.
这些羞辱人的意见和言论像利箭一样射入我的灵魂，我被四面攻击，心被刺得千疮百孔。
Exteriorly I was serene and cordial, as if ignorant of their cruel treatment ; and, after all, I really did not know much from without, for the suffering was all within.
从外表上看，我平静而亲切，仿佛对她们的残酷对待一无所知；毕竟，从外表上看，我确实不知道什么，因为痛苦都在心里。
It was shown me in order to exercise my obedience, charity, and humility.
这些痛苦显示给我是为了锻炼我的服从、爱德和谦卑。
When I failed in these virtues, I was interiorly punished.
当我在这些圣德上失败时，我受到了内在的惩罚。
My soul appeared to me transparent ; and, when a new suffering assailed me, I saw it in my soul under the appearance of fiery darts, red and inflamed spots, which patience alone could remove.
我看到，我的灵魂是透明的；当新的痛苦来袭时，我看到痛苦在我灵魂呈现如炽热的飞镖、发红发炎的斑点，只有忍耐才能消除这些斑点。
My condition in the convent was so singular, so perfectly abstracted from outward things that my companions can hardly be blamed for their treatment of me.
我在修院的情况是如此的奇特，我如此完美地从外在的事物中抽离出来，以至于几乎不能责怪我的同伴们对待我的态度，
They could not understand me, they regarded me with distrust and suspicion ; however, God hid many facts from them that would have perplexed them still more.
她们不能理解我，她们以不信任和怀疑的眼光来看待我；然而，天主向她们隐瞒了许多会使她们更加困惑的事实。
As for the rest, in spite of these trials, I have never since been so rich interiorly, never so perfectly happy as then, for I was at peace with God and man.
至于其他方面，尽管经历了这些考验，我的内心却从来没有像那时那样富有，也从来没有像那时那样快乐，因为我与天主和人都和睦相处。
When at work in the garden, the birds perched on my head and shoulders and we praised God together.
在花园里工作时，鸟儿栖息在我的头上和肩膀上，我们一起赞美天主。
My angel was ever at my side. Although the evil spirit raged around me, although he heaped abuse upon me in the quiet of my cell and sought to terrify me by frightful noises, yet he could never harm me; I was always relieved in good time.
护守天神总是站在我身边。虽然恶灵在我周围肆虐，虽然魔鬼在我安静的小室里不断地辱骂我，并试图用可怕的声音吓唬我，但魔鬼永远无法伤害我；我总是及时得到解救。
I often thought I had the Infant Jesus in my arms for hours at a time ; or, when with the Sisters ; I felt Him by my side and I was perfectly happy.
我常常觉得自己怀里抱着耶稣圣婴，一抱就是几个小时；或者，当我和修女们在一起时，我觉得耶稣圣婴就在我身边，我就感到幸福和快乐。
I beheld so many things which roused feelings of joy or pain, but I had no one to whom I could impart them, and my very efforts at concealing these sudden and violent emotions caused me to change color frequently.
我目睹了许多事情，这些事情激起了我的喜悦或痛苦之情，但不能告诉任何人，我努力掩饰这些突然而猛烈的情绪，这使我的脸上的表情经常变化。
Then the sisters said that I looked like one in love. They were, indeed, right for I could never love my Affianced enough, and when His friends spoke well of Him or of those dear to Him, my heart beat with joy."
然后姐妹们说，我看起来像一个恋爱中的人。她们说的很对。因为我爱我的净配永远也爱不够。「每当我的净配的朋友们善意的谈论着祂或者祂所爱的人，我的心就喜悦地跳动着。」
