CHAPTER XlII
ANNE CATHERINE MAKES HER VOWS, Nov. 13, 1803.
第十三章。
1803年11月13日，安纳．加大利纳宣发圣愿。
The year of novitiate drew to a close, but the community had not yet decided upon admitting the novice to her holy profession. The Novice-Mistress could in all truth render the following testimony of her charge: "I remark in her constant submission to the will of God, but she is often in tears. She will not say why, because she dares not; otherwise I see nothing in her that deserves censure."
初学一年的见习期即将结束，但修会尚未决定要不要让这位初学修女正式宣发她的圣愿。初学导师嬷嬷为她照管的初学修女据实做了如下证词：「我注意到她始终服从天主的旨意，但她常常流泪，她不说原因，因为她不敢说；除此以外，我看不到她身上有什么值得指责的地方。」
This testimony in her favor did not, however, satisfy the community. When the Chapter deliberated as to whether she should be sent away or allowed to remain, no other reason could be assigned for her dismissal than that she would soon become incapable of labor, a burden on the house; yet the Reverend Mother was forced to a knowledge that the novice was very intelligent, that she possessed skill and aptitude, and that she would certainly be of great use; a declaration which drew from her opponents the avowal that she always comported herself as a good religious and that, after all, there was not sufficient reason for sending her home.
然而，这个有利于她的证词并没有使修会感到满意。当全体修会讨论应将她送走还是允许留下时，除了她很快就不能劳动，给修会增加负担之外，没有其它理由可以遣散她。然而，院长姆姆不得不承认这个初学者非常聪明，她拥有技能和天赋，她肯定会很有用。这一声明使她的反对者承认，她总是表现得像个虔诚的好修女，毕竟她们没有足够的理由遣送她回家。
These obstacles removed and the day appointed for the ceremony, a new difficulty arose on the part of the novice herself. She had not yet redeemed the security given to the organist Soentgen for ten thalers, and she had good reason to fear being held responsible for the debt. She explained her embarrassment to the Reverend Mother, who applied to the gentleman in question. But he declared his inability to release Anne Catherine from her obligation, as he was unable to discharge his indebtedness. The community resolved not to allow the novice to make her vows until she had freed herself from her engagement. What was now to be done？ Anne Catherine turned to God. We shall give her own words on this subject:
这些障碍都消除了，发愿典礼的日期也定了，初学修女本人却遇到了一个新的困难。她还没能赎回给管风琴师索恩根担保的十个泰勒钱币(注:在第十一章有说明，风琴师索恩根需要十个泰勒，他只能在安纳•加大利纳的担保下才能借到这笔钱，因此安纳为索恩根先生作保成为联属的负债者)，而且她有充分的理由担心会被追究债务。她向院长嬷嬷解释了自己的窘境，院长嬷嬷遂向那位债主提出询问；但债主索恩根先生说他无力偿还这十个泰勒，因此不能免除安纳．加大利纳的债务。于是修会决定，在安纳.加大利纳没有从债务担保中解脱出来之前，不允许她发愿。现在该怎么办呢？安纳．加大利纳遂转向天主。我们将引用她自己的话：
" I had not a single cent. I applied to my family, but no one would help me, not even my brother Bernard. All reproached me as if I had committed a crime in going security. But the debt had to be cancelled before I could make my vows. I cried to God for assistance and, at last, a charitable man gave me the ten thalers. My brother used to shed tears at a later period over his hard-heartedness toward me.
「我身无分文。我请求家人帮助，但没人能帮我，甚至连我的兄弟伯纳德也不愿意。他们全都责备我，就好像我在担保金上犯了罪似的。然而在发愿前，我的欠债必须被取消，我向天主哭求帮助，最后有位善心人给了我十个泰勒。后来有段时间，我哥哥常为他对我的冷酷无情流泪。
" This obstacle being happily removed and the preparations for the profession almost completed, another difficulty sprang up. The Reverend Mother told Clara and myself that we were still in need of something for which we should have to send to Munster, entailing an expense of three thalers each. I had no money, and where was I to get any！ In my distress, I went to Abbe Lambert, who kindly gave me two crowns. I returned joyfully to my cell where, to my great delight, I found six thalers lying on the table. I ran with the two crowns to my friend who, like myself, had nothing and knew not where to procure her three thalers.
「这个困难愉快地解决了，并且发愿准备几乎就要完成了，另一个困难又出现了。院长嬷嬷告诉克拉拉和我，我们仍需要做一些东西，即我们必须去一趟明斯特，这意味着每人需要三泰勒的开销。我没有钱，我去哪儿弄钱呢！窘迫之中，我去找兰伯特神父，他好心的给了我两个克朗。我喜悦的返回我的小室，我极惊喜的发现桌上有六个泰勒！我拿了那六个泰勒连同两克朗跑到我的朋友克拉拉那里，她和我一样一无所有，也不知道可去哪儿弄到三个泰勒。
"Three years after I was again in need of money. Each Sister had to provide her own breakfast, and I had nothing at the time to procure mine. One day I entered my cell, which was locked, and found two thalers lying on the windowsill. I took them to the Superioress, who allowed me to keep them. "
「三年后，我又一次需要钱。每个姐妹都必须供应自己的早餐，我当时没有钱买早餐。有一天，我进入我的小室，之前门是锁着的，但我发现窗台上放着两个泰勒。我拿了这钱交给院长，院长允许我留着它们。
"Eight days before the Feast of the Presentation of the Blessed Virgin, 1803, on the same day on which one year before Clara Soentgen and I had taken the habit, we made our profession as Augustinians in the convent of Agnetenberg, Dulmen, and from that day we were consecrated spouses of Jesus Christ under the Rule of St. Augustine. I was in my twenty-eighth year. After my profession my parents became reconciled to my being a religious, and my father and brother came to see me and brought me two pieces of linen. "
「 1803年 奉献圣母于圣殿节的前八天，也就是一年前我和克拉拉．索恩根穿会衣的同一天，我们在杜尔门的阿涅腾堡修道院里发愿成为圣奥斯丁修会的修女，从那天起，我们在圣奥斯定会规下成为耶稣基督的净配。那时我已经二十八岁了，我发愿后，父母接受了我成为修女的事实，父母与我和解了，我的父亲和兄弟来看望我，并带给我两块亚麻布。」
The Abbe John Martin Lambert, whom we now meet for the first time, formerly a vicar in the parish of Demuin, diocese of Amiens, had been like many other good priests forced to leave his country on refusing to take the famous oath of the Constitution. With recommendations from the Archbishop of Tours and the Bishop of Amiens, he went in 1794 to Munster, obtained faculties from the Vicar-General von Furstenberg and was appointed confessor with a small allowance to the house of the Duke von Croy, who resided in Dulmen. In the convent of Agnetenberg, which had its own confessor, the Abbe held also the office of chaplain, a post which conferred upon the possessor the right of a lodging within the convent grounds. When Sister Emmerich had charge of the sacristy she became acquainted with him; his piety and deep recollection in saying holy Mass impressed her favorably and she conceived great confidence in him.
我们现在第一次见到的若望．马丁．兰伯特神父，从前是德明教区的一名司铎。他和其他优秀的司铎一样，因为拒绝向宪法宣誓而被迫离开自已的国家。在都尔大主教和亚眠大主教的推荐下，他于1794年去了明斯特，从冯．弗斯滕伯格副主教获得了教职，并被任命为住在杜尔门的冯.克罗伊公爵家的告解神父，并享有小量津贴，同时，他在阿涅腾堡修道院担任告解神师，兼任修道院司铎，这一职务赋予兰伯特神父在修道院内住宿的权利。艾曼丽修女负责圣器室时，与兰伯特神父相识。他做神圣弥撒时的虔诚和深沉的收敛心神给艾曼丽留下了深刻的印象，艾曼丽修女对他充满了信赖。
The unsisterly treatment she experienced from her companions distressed her sorely and failing to make herself understood by the ordinary confessor, she resolved to open her heart to the Abbe and ask his advice and assistance. But, as the good father knew little German, their communications were, at first, necessarily very restricted. Nevertheless, the pious and enlightened priest soon acquired an insight into his penitent's state, and felt bound in consequence to help as far as possible a soul so highly favored by God. He engaged the confessor to permit her to communicate more frequently, even to command it when through humility she wished to abstain. And he it was who at dawn of day held himself in readiness to administer to her the Adorable Eucharist when her desire of the Heavenly Manna made her almost swoon away. Though very poor himself, he was ever willing to assist her when her distress made her consent to accept an alms from him, and on her side she honored him as her greatest earthly benefactor. Later on we shall see her returning, as far as she was able, his unvarying kindness.
艾曼丽修女从同伴那里经验到的非姐妹般的对待，使她痛苦不堪，她无法让普通的告解神父明白自己，于是她决定向兰伯特神父敞开心扉，并寻求他的建议和帮助。但是，由于这位好神父几乎不懂德语，起初，他们的交流受到很大的限制。然而，这位虔诚而开明的神父很快就洞悉了告解者的状况，并且感到有责任尽可能地帮助这个被天主如此青睐的灵魂。他担任了艾曼丽修女的告解神师，允许她更频繁地与他交流，甚至在她因谦卑而希望回避圣体时，他也命令艾曼丽修女领圣体。每当艾曼丽对天堂玛纳的渴望使她几乎昏厥时,是神父在黎明破晓时随时准备好为她分施可敬的圣体。尽管兰伯特神父本人很穷，但仍愿意帮助艾曼丽，当她窘迫时，兰伯特神父说服她同意接受自己的捐赠，在艾曼丽修女这边，她尊敬兰伯特神父是她在尘世间最大的恩人。稍后我们将看到她尽其可能，回报神父恒久不变的良善。
We may readily conceive Anne Catherine's sentiments when pronouncing at the foot of the altar the solemn vows to which she had so long aspired. The same zeal, the same desire with which sixteen years before she had prepared for her First Communion, marked her preparation for this solemn occasion. Multiplied prayers and penances, trials and anxiety had exhausted her strength during the days immediately preceding her profession; Yet upon the joyfu1 day itself, she appeared to be endued with new vigor. The joy of her soul manifested itself in her exterior; she was, as it were, all luminous. She understood the real signification of the ceremony, she perceived the meaning of the trials that had beset her path since her first call to the religious state, and her heart overflowed with gratitude for all that God had operated in her and by her up to that moment. She saw herself clothed in the festal robes and bridal ornaments over which for years she had untiringly labored according to the directions given in her great visions; every step, every self-victory, every sigh, was therein represented as a precious stone or an exquisite piece of embroidery. Now she saw how necessary all these trials had been to prepare her for the nuptials at which her Divine Betrothed assisted visibly with the saints of the Order of St. Augustine.
我们很容易想象安纳．加大利纳在祭台前宣读她那渴望已久的庄严誓言时的心情。十六年前，她曾怀着同样的热情、同样的渴望准备初领圣体，如今她也怀着同样的热情、同样的渴望准备这一庄严的时刻。在她发愿前的日子，她加倍的祈祷和刻苦，试探和焦虑几乎耗尽了她的体力。然而，就在这欢乐的日子里，她似乎又焕发出了新的活力。她心灵的喜悦表现在她的外表上，可以说，她全身都散发光彩。她明白了庆典的真正意义，她领悟到了被召入修道院以来她所经历的考验的意义，她的内心满溢着对天主的感激之情，感谢天主在她身上所做的一切。她看到自己穿上了修会的长袍，戴上了新娘的饰物，多年来，她一直按照异象中的指示不懈地努力着；每一步、每一次战胜自我的胜利、每一声叹息，都在异象中表现为一颗宝石或一件精美的刺绣。现在，她看到了所有这些考验是多么必要，它们为她的婚礼做好了准备，在婚礼上，她神圣的未婚夫将与圣奥古斯丁教会的圣徒们一起为她助兴。
As at baptism she had seen herself espoused to the Infant Jesus by His holy Mother, so now it was by the Queen of Virgins she was presented to her Betrothed. Whilst her lips pronounced the words of holy profession, she beheld her solemn consecration to God ratified in a twofold manner. The Church Militant received her and the Heavenly Bridegroom deigned to accept her from the hands of Mother Church, sealing His acceptance by bestowing upon her His most magnificent gifts. She saw the exalted position in the Church to which the vows elevated her; she highly appreciated the abundant graces bestowed upon her and the dignity with which her quality of spouse invested her, a dignity which she ever after regarded in herself with respect.
就像在领洗时，她看到自已被圣母许配给圣婴耶稣，现在，她又看到童贞之后将她许配给她的净配。当她的嘴唇念出神圣的誓言时，她看到她对天主的庄严奉献得到了双重的认可。征战的教会接纳了她，而天国的新郎也从慈母教会手中接受了她，并把最珍贵的礼物赐给了她。她看到了誓言把她提升到教会的崇高地位;她非常感激天主赐予她的种种恩惠，以及她作为基督的净配赋予她的尊严，这种尊严是她以后在自已身上一直尊重的。
The same thing happened to her as to a pious candidate for Holy Orders. At the time of his ordination, his own soul became visible to him in all the splendor communicated to it by the indelible mark of the priesthood. Anne Catherine felt in what way she henceforth belonged to the Church, and through the Church to her Heavenly Bridegroom; as a consecrated gift she was offered to God body and soul. Like Columba di Rieti, Lidwina of Schiedam, and Blessed Colette, she understood the spiritual signification of her different members, as a spouse of God, and also their symbolical relation to the body of the Church.
发生在艾曼丽修女身上的事，也同样会发生在一个虔诚的圣职候选人的圣秩圣事上。在候选人被授予圣职时，他自己的灵魂在圣秩圣事不可磨灭的印记所赋予的荣耀中，变得光彩夺目。安纳．加大利纳感受到以这种方式，自己从此属于教会，并通过教会归属于她的天上新郎。作为神圣的礼物，她的身体和灵魂都奉献给了天主。像科伦巴的里蒂，希丹的李维娜和真福科莱特一样，她理解教会不同成员的属灵意义，也理解天主的净配就是教会的身体，这种属灵的象征关系。
[注：
· 科伦巴的里蒂（1467–1501） 意大利苦修会第三会的神秘主义者，她推动了一个改革近代女性修道生活的项目。
· 李维娜（1380-1433）是一位荷兰神秘主义者，被天主教会尊为圣人。
· 圣科莱特（1381-1447）1807年封圣。法国方济会第二会修女及贫穷克莱尔修会的创始人。］
No inmate of Agnetenberg had the slightest suspicion of these marvels, yet God willed that this day of spiritual nuptials should be for all supereminently a day of joy and peace. Anne Catherine, though in blissful tears that would not be kept back, exerted a gladdening influence on all her Sisters; and her reiterated thanks for admitting her irrevocably among them won even the most obstinate to smile upon her for that one day at least. A repast awaited the guests in the convent refectory, to which her beloved parents were invited after High Mass.
阿涅腾堡修道院的修女们对这些奇观没有丝毫怀疑，但天主的意愿是，这个神婚的日子对所有人来说都应该是欢乐详和的日子。安纳．加大利纳虽然流着幸福的泪水，对她的所有姐妹们都产生了令人欣慰的影响。她一再感谢修女们接纳了她，至少在那一天，最顽固的修女也对她报以微笑。在弥撒结束之后，她深爱的父母应邀参加了在修道院餐厅举行的晚宴。
The opposition of these good people and the suffering it had brought upon their daughter had had no other effect upon the latter than that of causing her to pray most earnestly that God would grant them the grace to make the sacrifice He demanded of them. Her prayer was heard at last. They were so deeply affected by the sight of their child on this day, the day of her espousals, that, uniting in her sacrifice, they gave her to God with all their heart. They testified their joy in so many ways and showed so much affection for her that, to the end of her life, the remembrance of this solemnity was always one of the sweetest.
这对善良的父母普经反对女儿入会，为此给女儿带来的痛苦，除了使安纳更恳切地祈求天主赐给她的双亲恩宠，而做出天主要求父母的牺牲之外，对安纳没有其他影响。最后她的祈祷被俯听了。在这一天，也就是安纳婚庆的日子，他们看到了自已孩子唤发的光彩，深受感动，他们同心协力为她献弥撒，全心全意地把她献给了天主。他们用许多方式证明了他们的喜悦，并对她表现出了深厚的感情，以至于在她生命的最后阶段，对这一庄严时刻的回忆总是最甜蜜的。
The year 1803 opened most disastrously for the Catholic Church in Germany. It would, doubtless, have been utterly annihilated were its founder and defender other than God Himself. As formerly He had permitted the destruction of His holy city and temple as a punishment for the infidelity and apostasy of His people, so now the Church's powerful enemies were to be for her the instruments to separate the good from the bad grain.
1803年对德国的天主教会来说是最灾难性的一年。毫无疑问，如果天主教会的创始人和捍卫者不是天主自己的话，德国天主教会将被彻底毁灭。正如古时天主允许摧毁圣城和圣殿,以此来惩罚背信和叛教的子民，现在教会的强敌也照样要成为分开善与恶，麦子和稗子的工具。
Whilst this sentence was being executed, whilst the " abomination of desolation" lasted, the Lord hid the holy things of His Church, as the priests of the Temple the sacred fire, until crime being expiated, it might be enkindled with greater brilliancy than before. The pits in which the sacred fire of the Christian Church was preserved were holy souls, few in number at this period. They hid 'neath the waters of tribulation those treasures which formed of old the delight and ornament of the Bride of Christ ; treasures which were now abandoned by their custodians, pillaged and dissipated by those that ought to have guarded and defended them.
当这一判决被执行时，当“招致荒凉的可憎之物”持续存在时，主将祂教会的圣物隐藏起来，就好像圣殿的司祭们隐藏圣火一样，直到罪孽被赦免，圣火才可能比以前燃起更大的光辉。保存基督教会圣火的是极少数圣洁的人。他们将那些宝物藏于苦难的水底，这些宝藏从古时就构成了基督新娘的喜悦和饰物，如今却被宝藏的保管人遗弃，被那些本应守护和捍卫它们的人所掠夺和挥霍。
Anne Catherine shared this task with a small number of faithful servants. The Lord made use of the fire of sufferings and the mallet of penance to make of her a vase, pure, strong, and sufficiently capacious to receive the incommensurable riches of the Church until the time for their restoration.
安纳．加大利纳与少数忠实的仆人共同承担了这项任务。天主用苦难之火和忏悔之槌将她掏造成了一个纯洁、坚固的器皿，足以容纳教会不可估量的珍宝，直到教会重新恢复为止。
What now was the life that awaited Sister Emmerich in the convent ? The favorable impression of the festal day was soon effaced from the hearts of her Sisters, and the poor child became once more what she had ever been, the unwelcome intruder among them. Almighty God had, as it were, procured her an entrance into this convent by force ; and from the very first she had contracted in the eyes of the religious, by her poverty and ill-health, a debt she could never discharge.
现在在修道院里等待艾曼丽修女的是怎样的生活呢？庆节的美好印象很快就从她的姐妹们心中消失了，可怜的孩子又恢复了她曾经的样子，成为她们中间不受欢迎的闯入者。可以说，是全能的天主迫使她进入了这个修道院。在修女们心目中，从一开始，她就因为贫穷和健康状况不佳，而在修女们的眼中欠下了一笔永远无法偿还的债务。
The habit had been given her in the midst of dissatisfaction, and now she had taken her vows almost in spite of general opposition. A vessel of election, God's chosen instrument, she is forever to be a stumbling-block, an object of aversion to those for whom she entertained so warm an affection. This she knew and felt at every moment, owing to her gift of reading hearts, and thus she was in her own person treated precisely as the religious state itself was treated at that epoch by too many of its members.
会服在众人不满的情形下被授予她，尽管这遭到了普遍反对，她现在仍然发了愿。她是天主的器皿，是天主拣选的工具，却老被似为绊脚石，是那些她对之怀有深厚感情的人所憎恶的对象。这是由于她拥有读懂人心的天赋，她每时每刻都知道并感受到这一点，因此，她自身所受的待遇，就象当时许许多多的人对待修会本身的待遇一样。
She had, moreover, not the faintest hope of being able to restore the strict discipline of former times by training active young members to it; for, after her entrance, the novitiate was closed forever. She was the last to make the religious profession in the convent of Agnetenberg, and she knew both from the political aspect of the day and her own visions, that this spiritual family would shortly be dissolved never again to be reunited. How admirable are the ways of God ! How contrary to those of the world !
此外，她是毫无希望通过修会积极培训年轻的修女来恢复昔日严格的会规纪律；因为，在她入会后，初学院永远关闭了，她是最后一位在阿涅腾堡修道院发愿做修女的人，她从当时的政治局势和自己的神视中都知道，这个神修之家不久将被解散，再也不会重聚了。天主的作为多么奇妙！多么与世界背道而驰！
How different are the means that He employs from those of men ! Anne Catherine combined, in a human view, qualifications eminently suited for rendering the highest services to the Church ; but God demands of her no dazzling marks of loyalty. Incalculable sufferings, years of obscurity and humiliation, were the only remedies she was to apply to the deep wounds of His Spouse on earth.
天主采用的方式与人类的手段是多么不同！从人的角度来看，安纳．加大利纳具备了为教会提供最崇高服务的资格，但天主并不要求她做出令人眼花缭乱的忠诚表现。唯一能医治她的净配深受创伤的药方，是安纳那无法估量的苦难、多年的默默无闻和屈辱。
The further she advanced in her mission, the greater became her sufferings. We could scarcely support the frightful spectacle if her sweet, childlike simplicity came not as a gleam from Paradise to light up the dark sea of sorrows which bore her storm-tossed bark to the haven of rest.
她越是在她的使命上前进，她的痛苦就越大。如果她那甜美的、孩子般的纯朴不是从天堂来的一道光芒，照亮了悲伤的黑暗海洋，把她那饱经风浪的小船带到了安息的港湾，我们简直无法忍受这可怕的景象。
