Yesterday I saw the Abbe at the point of death; he lost consciousness, his temptations were multiplied, his hands wandered over the coverlet. I turned to God, praying that he might still suffer, do penance in this world, but I was told that he must die, and that I must now examine whether I were willing to resign him to the will of God. 昨天,我看到兰伯特神父濒临死亡;他失去了知觉,诱惑倍增,他的手在被单上摸索。我转向天主,祈求让他在这个世界上继续受苦,继续痛悔,但我被告知,他的寿命将尽,我现在必须审视自已的内心,我内心是否愿意服从天主的旨意,平静地对待兰伯特神父的死亡。 — Then came a strange picture before me. Some one appeared and spoke in sorrowful terms of my loss if the Abbe died. This was done to drive me to complain and lament, to make me lose patience and resignation. It was a hard struggle ! Besides, I was not alone one instant; they were constantly talking to me and the child was coughing. But I overcame the enemy and I said in my heart : Thy will, Lord, be done ! ——然后,一幅奇怪的画面出现在我眼前。有人出现了,用悲伤的语气说,如果兰伯特神父死了,我将蒙受损失。这是在逼我抱怨和哀叹,让我失去忍耐和顺从。这的确是一场艰苦的斗争!再说,此刻我并不孤单。周围的人不停地在跟我说话,孩子也在咳嗽。但我战胜了敌人,我在心里说:主啊,愿祢的旨意承行! — Hardly had I uttered the words, when I saw the Abbe better and more cheerful. As lately he has suffered much from his wound, I prayed for him earnestly, and I was asked if I were willing to relieve him by sucking the wound. When I answered yes, I was immediately transported to his bedside. I sucked the wound, the pain was relieved, and he said to the doctor : “I think ma soeur has helped me!" ——话音刚落,我就看到兰伯特神父的精神好了许多。最近他的伤口疼痛难忍,我很恳切地为他祈祷,有人问我是否愿意通过吸吮他的伤口来减轻他的痛苦。当我回答愿意时,我立即被带到他的床边。我吮吸了伤口,神父疼痛减轻了,他对医生说:「我想是我的姐妹帮助了我!」 January 9th — "In a violent spell of coughing, she vomited at least two pints of blood, but she still went on working and praying for her sick friend. She related also her visions of the arrival at Bethlehem and the adoration of the Three Kings." 1 月9日——「在一阵剧烈的咳嗽中,艾曼丽吐了至少两品脱的血,但她仍然继续为生病的兰伯特神父祈祷和承担他的病苦。她还讲述了她到达白冷和三王来朝的异象。」 January 11th — “Lambert's sickness increases, and Sister Emmerich is worn out with anxiety. She says the Abbe has still some distance to go through the darkness. She has gained a respite for him from death, that he may not have to remain long in purgatory. The child's fearful coughing-spells will help to obtain for him a peaceful death." 1 月11日——「兰伯特神父的病越来越重,艾曼丽修女心急如焚。她说兰伯特神父要穿过黑暗还有一段距离。她已经为他从死亡中争取到了喘息的机会,他可能不必在炼狱中待太久。这孩子可怕的咳嗽发作将有助于他安详的死去。」 January 12th — " She is very calm, thank God ! although in a pitiable state and in expectation of the Abbe's death. His strength has greatly diminished, and she is constantly praying for him. She is making a chemise for a poor child who was shown her as needing one." 1月12日——「感谢天主!艾曼丽现在非常平静!尽管她现在的处境很可怜,而且还在担心神父会死。神父的体力已经大大衰弱了,艾曼丽一直在为神父祈祷。她正在为一个可怜的孩子缝制一件衣服,因为有人告诉她孩子需要一件衣服。」 January 13th — “The efforts she makes and the cares devolving on her, greatly tax her strength. She says herself that her burden is a heavy one. She looks perfectly exhausted and the perspiration rolls down her pallid face. She still supports the child in its spells of coughing." 1 月 13 日——「她所付出的努力和承担的重任极大地消耗了她的体力。她自己说,她的担子很重。她看上去非常疲惫,汗水从她苍白的脸上滚落下来。当孩子咳嗽时,她仍在照看他。」 January 14th- “She related what follows: 'My mother appeared whilst the child was coughing, and consoled me. As long as she stayed, the child was relieved. She was more beautiful and luminous than usual, and I felt a certain awe in speaking to her. I did not see her all the time ; she vanished and reappeared. She promised me no help. I must suffer. The child also suffers and merits by it. I must persevere to the end. 1 月 14 日——「她讲述了以下内容:『当孩子咳嗽时,我的母亲显现,她安慰了我。只要我的母亲留在这里,孩子的咳嗽就能缓解。母亲比平时更美丽、更光彩照人,和她说话时,我感到某种敬畏。我并没有一直看到母亲;她忽隐忽现。她没有答应帮助我。我必须受苦。孩子也必须受苦,这孩子因受苦而受益。我必须坚持到底。 She showed me my sufferings and struggles as so many flowers, fruits, and crowns, and then as gardens and palaces, saying that what is there tasted and enjoyed is infinitely sweeter than mortal can conceive. — I am making in vision a painful journey with the Abbe. Sometimes he is quite near the Heavenly Jerusalem ; then he pauses, he has lost something which I have to take to him. 我的母亲显示给我,我的痛苦和挣扎如同无数的花朵、果实和王冠,又如同花园和宫殿,並说在那里品尝和享受的远比凡人所能想象的要甜美得多。——我在神视里与兰伯特神父一起经历了一段痛苦的旅程。有时,他离天上的耶路撒冷很近;有时,他又停了下来,说他弄丢了什么东西,要我必须把它交给他。 I often pass over cemeteries where lies some one who has forgotten something which, with infinite toil and fatigue, I have to take to him over bad roads, the mud up to my waist. I have a thousand such tasks, and near by there is always some one to contradict me, to prevent my accomplishing anything. ‘ " 我经常路过墓地,那里躺着一个人,他忘了带什么东西,我不得不带着无尽的辛劳和疲倦,走过泥泞的小路,把东西送到他手里。我有无数个这样的任务,而附近总有一些人反对我,阻止我完成这样的任务。』」 January 15th — “The Pilgrim found her in ecstasy. She had had herself carried to the Abbe Lambert's room. As soon as she saw him, she fell into ecstasy, in which state she was borne back to her own room. When the Pilgrim entered, she seemed to be engaged in a very fatiguing spiritual labor. 1 月 15 日——「朝圣者发现艾曼丽在神魂超拔中。她叫人把自己抬到兰伯特神父的房间里。她一看到神父,就陷入了神魂超拔,在这种状态下,她被带回了自己的房间。当朝圣者进来时,她似乎正在从事一项非常疲劳的属灵工作。 On returning to consciousness, she knew not where she was. ‘How did I get here?’ she asked. At Last, recalling what had happened, she said : ' I saw, when with the Abbe, that his soul still needed something and so, I went barefoot through the snow to the chapel to make the Way of the Cross for him. I saw that that would pay off all his debt. The road was difficult, my feet cold.' 恢复意识后,她不知道自己身在何处。『我是怎么到这儿来的?』她问。最后,她回忆起所发生的事情,说:『当我和兰伯特神父在一起时,我看到他的灵魂需要某种东西,所以我赤脚踏雪来到小教堂,为他拜了苦路。我看到这样就能还清他所有的债务。这条路很难走,我的脚很冷。』 — The Pilgrim saw that the whole day was as good as lost. What could benefit mankind is thrown away uselessly, for she remembers very little compared with what she might were she more favorably situated. It grieves him to record these lines, for it would be very easy to preserve all, were there ever so little order in the house. She breathes painfully and says : ' I feel that the Pilgrim is again dissatisfied, but I am not in fault.' ——朝圣者觉得这一整天就等于浪费了。对人类有益的东西都被白白地扔掉了,因为她所记得的很少,如果她处境更有利的话,她可能会记得更多。记录这些叙述让他很伤心,因为如果这房子里有一点点秩序,就可以保存下所有的异象。艾曼丽修女痛苦地喘着气说:『我觉得朝圣者又不满意了,但我没有错。』 — He would, indeed, be callous, were he not chagrined by this woful waste ! — That afternoon the Pilgrim found her in conversation with one of her old convent companions, a Miss Woltermann. He cannot understand how she can wear herself out entertaining such a person, especially as it makes her forget her visions. Whilst he sat lamenting the irreparable loss, in came her unmarried brother and the Pilgrim had to withdraw to the adjoining room, whence he could hear the tones of her voice in animated conversation. She did most of the talking. ——如果朝圣者不为这种可悲的浪费而懊恼的话,他就真的是冷酷无情了!——那天下午,朝圣者发现她正在与修道院的一位老伙伴–沃尔特曼小姐–交谈。朝圣者无法理解她怎么能让她自己在招待这样一个人时而耗尽自己的精力,尤其是这还让她忘记了自己的神视。正当他坐在那里为这不可挽回的损失而悲伤的时候,艾曼丽修女那未婚的弟弟走了进来,朝圣者不得不退到隔壁的房间里去,在那里他可以听到艾曼丽修女热烈交谈的声音。她说得最多。 When, at last, the brother took his leave, the Pilgrim again returned to his post, remarking that she had held a long and brisk conversation. ‘Yes,’ she said, ' I spoke a little too much, for I said: What would have become of the poor Abbe Lambert , had he not fallen among strangers ? An ecclesiastic in the hands of his relatives, is like a bird in the hands of children ! I ought not to have said that to my brother.’ " 最后,当她弟弟告辞时,朝圣者又回到了自已的岗位上,记载了她已经进行了长时间而又轻快的谈话。『是的,』她说,『我说得有点太多了,因为我说:可怜的兰伯特神父,如果不是落在陌生人手中,他会怎么样呢?一个神职人员落在亲人的手里,就像小鸟落在孩子的手里一样!我不应该对我弟弟说那些话。』」 In the midst of her trials, Sister Emmerich was consoled by visions of her own childhood. "My deceased play-mates took me with them to our old play -ground and to our crib. The ass was standing outside the grotto. I climbed on a mound and got on his back. ‘See,’ said I to the children, L the Mother of God sat this way!’— The ass allowed itself to be stroked and held around the neck. 在她的考验中,艾曼丽修女被自己童年的异象所安慰。「我已故的玩伴们把我带到了我们过去的游戏园,去了我们搭建的婴儿摇篮。驴子站在洞穴外面。我爬上了一个土堆,骑在了驴背上。『看,』我对孩子们说,『圣母玛利亚就坐在这里!』——驴子任由我抚摸它并搂抱它的脖子。 Then we all went to the crib and prayed. The children gave me apples and flowers and a rose-bush surrounded by thorns; but I refused them all. They asked me why I never invoked them in my needs ; for they were ready to help me. ‘Men call so little upon the children, and yet they are very powerful with God, especially such as die shortly after Baptism.’ 然后我们都走到婴儿摇篮前祈祷。孩子们给了我苹果、鲜花和被荆棘丛包围的玫瑰;但我全都拒绝了。他们问我为什么在我需要的时候从不向他们求助;因为他们已经准备好帮助我了。『人们在需要的时候很少向孩子们求助,可是孩子们在天主面前却很有力量,尤其是那些在洗礼后不久就死去的孩子。』 There was one such among them who told me that I had obtained his blessed death for him. If his parents knew it they would be displeased with me. Then I remembered his having been brought to me directly after Baptism, when I held him up and prayed God with all my heart rather to take him in his innocence than let him live to lose it. He thanked me now for having asked heaven for him and promised to pray for me. 其中有一位孩子告诉我,我为他获得了蒙福的去世。如果他的父母知道了,他们会生我的气的。这时我想起来他是在领洗后被带到我这里来的,当时我举起他,并全心全意地向天主祈祷,宁愿求天主在他纯真的时候带走他,也不愿让他活着失去灵魂。他现在感谢我为他祈求天堂,并答应为我祈祷。 They told me to pray particularly that new-born infants may not die without Baptism ; for, when we so pray, God promptly sends help. I often have visions of assistance so obtained,’ After some time, being in ecstasy, she called her confessor, saying : — 他们告诉我要特别为新生儿祈祷,使他们不会在没有领洗的情况下死去;因为,当我们如此祈祷时,天主会立即赐下帮助。我经常看到如此获得帮助的神视。」过了一会儿,她神魂超拔,便叫来她的告解神师,说:—— “About five thousand are dying at this moment, among them many priests. We must pray that we may meet in the valley of Josaphat, and they will pray for us in heaven. The valley of Josaphat is not now far away, only a short distance — a broad wall black and gloomy! God grant them eternal rest and may the Lord enlighten them ! I see an amazing multitude in various situations. I am standing on an arch above the earth. From all points come rays to me through which I look as through a tube. I see the couches of the dying with their attendant circumstances; some are quite lonely and abandoned." 「此时此刻,大约有五千人正在死去,其中有许多神父。我们必须祈祷,希望我们能在约萨法特山谷相遇,他们也会在天堂为我们祈祷。约萨法特山谷现在并不遥远,只有很短的距离——一堵漆黑的宽墙!愿上主赐予他们永恒的安息,愿主以永光照之!我看到了令人诧异的一群人在各种处境中。我站在地球上方的一个拱门上。光线从四面八方射到我身上,我看这些光线就像是通过一根管子。我看到了临终者的卧榻和他们身边的环境;有些人非常孤独,被人遗弃。」 January 17th — " Lambert had a hemorrhage last night to the fright of the invalid and the whole household. She has, consequently, been very much exhausted the whole day, and the confessor is on the watch that she may not be disturbed. As I write, she is coughing and vomiting blood ; but, for the rest, she is, day and night, in almost continual ecstasy, though of different degrees of absorption; she lives in one succession of marvellous visions. 1 月 17 日——「兰伯特神父昨晚大出血,吓坏了病人和全家人。因此,病人一整天都非常疲惫,告解神师在看守着她,不让她受到打扰。当我写这些时,她正在咳嗽,吐血;但除此之外,她白天和黑夜几乎都在持续的神魂超拔中,只是专注程度不同;她生活在一连串奇妙的异象中。 On no day yet, even amidst the most varied and complicated sufferings, have they failed ; besides those now usual to her on the ' Life of Jesus,’ she has others as the feasts of the saints recur, not to mention her spiritual journeys, etc. Her courage seems to have increased with her pains, for she is calm and serene. 即使在最复杂多变的苦难中,异象也没有停止过一天;现在除了《耶稣的生平》中常见的异象,她还有其他的异像,比如反复出现的圣人瞻礼,更不用说还有她的属灵之旅等等。她的勇气似乎伴随着她的痛苦而增加,因为她平静而安详。 After one of her severe spells of coughing, she exclaimed : ‘I have to travel so quickly from country to country, the air makes me cough!’ On another occasion, she started up suddenly and looked around her for something; then, having found her crucifix, she said : ‘There is a bear lying in wait for me in a thicket through which I have to pass. If I have my crucifix, I can chase him away.’ One could see she was on her way to the Holy Land for she spoke of the Life of Jesus and of the Jordan." 一阵剧烈的咳嗽后,她感叹道:『我必须从一个国家快速的走到另一个国家,空气让我咳嗽!』还有一次,她突然惊起,环顾四周寻找什么东西。然后,在找到她的十字架后,她说:『有一头熊埋伏在我必须经过的灌木丛中,如果我有十字架,就能赶走它。人们可以看出她是在去圣地的路上,因为她谈到了耶稣的生平和约旦河。 January 18th— “Lambert thought he was dying last evening and said to the Pilgrim : ‘I am waiting God's call ! I pray Him, my dear sir, to reward you for what you have done for us ! I cannot do it myself!’ and, at the Pilgrim's request, he gave him his blessing. His countenance was full of quiet dignity. He is a little better now. In the morning in came the old sister-in-law for a visit, but the Pilgrim proposed to her to go make the Way of the Cross. 1 月 18 日——「兰伯特神父昨晚以为自己快要死了,他对朝圣者说:『我在等待天主的召唤!亲爱的先生,我祈求天主赏报您为我们所做的一切!我自己做不到!』在朝圣者的请求下,神父给了朝圣者祝福。他的脸上充满了安详的尊严。他现在好一点了。第二天早上,神父的大嫂来拜访他,但朝圣者建议她去拜苦路。 Sister Emmerich is miserable, but always in contemplation. On the Abbe Lambert's condition, she says : ‘I cannot say how clear, how bright it looks to me. I see his soul like a little human figure of light hovering over his heart trying to go, trying to escape from the bonds that clasp it on all sides. It seems to be opening a way for itself, to be separating from the body, which is like a cloud torn asunder. 艾曼丽修女很痛苦,但总是在默观。关于兰伯特神父的病情,她说:『我无法说出他的灵魂看起来有多清晰、有多明亮。我看到他的灵魂就像一个小小的人形光影盘旋在他的心脏上,试图离开,试图摆脱四面八方的束缚。灵魂似乎在为自己开辟一条道路,要与身体分离,身体就像被撕裂的云一样。 I see its anxiety to get loose and the struggle to retain it. The body embraces it more closely,enfolds it more tightly ; it is again caught on one, or perhaps, on all sides. Sometimes it is surrounded by darkness, then by a fog, or again a ray of light breaks through to it, whilst a fire burns over the sick man all the time. And there, in the midst of it all, is the evil one constantly approaching with all kinds of torturing pictures, On the other side is his angel defending him, whilst bright rays fall upon him from his patron and other saints.' " 我看到了灵魂想从身体挣脱的焦虑,也看到了灵魂留在体內所做的挣扎。身体把他抱得更紧,抓得更牢;他又一次被捕捉到,或者可能被从四面八方捕捉到。有时他被黑暗包围,然后又被浓雾包围,或者有一束光穿透它,而火焰一直在病人身上燃烧。在那里,在这一切之中,恶魔带着各种折磨人的画面不断地向他靠近,在另一边是他的护守天使在保护他,同时他的主保圣人和其他圣人则向他洒下明亮的光辉。』」 On this same day, the Pilgrim wrote to Dean Overberg: “By the time these lines reach you, the Abbe Lambert may be no more. With full consciousness, he has received the Last Sacraments and general absolution. Up to the week before last, he recited his Breviary and, until the day before yesterday, he said the Rosary, a practice which he began as a student and never omitted a single day since. He now clasps it in his hands, his scapular on his breast. 就在同一天,朝圣者写信给奥弗伯格院长:「等到你收到这些信时,兰伯特神父可能已经不在了。在完全清醒的情况下,他接受了终傅圣事和大赦。直到上个星期,他还在诵念他的大日课,直到前天,他还在念玫瑰经,从学生时代开始,他就这样做了,以后从未间断过。现在他把玫瑰经念珠握在手里,圣母圣衣贴在他胸前。 Of Sister Emmerich I can say, with full and calm conviction, that of all the souls favored by God (and I have read the lives of very many) not one appears to me to have been so privileged and, at the same time, so neglected, so abandoned, so tormented, so tempted as she ! But I still continue to gather roses on thorns, to collect the leaves so ruthlessly scattered, and to weep over others borne lightly away on the sudden breeze." 关于艾曼丽修女,我可以满怀信心地说,在所有受到天主宠爱的灵魂中(我读过很多人的生平),在我看来,没有一个人像她那样享有如此的特恩,但同时,又如此被忽视,被遗弃,如此受折磨,如此受诱惑!但我仍然继续在荆棘上采集玫瑰,收集那些被如此无情地散落的叶子,为那些被突如其来的微风轻轻带走的落叶而哭泣。」 January 1 9th — " As the Pilgrim entered to-day, the invalid awoke from vision, her countenance like that of a little child, half crying, half smiling, and she said plaintively : ' Now begins my misery ! The little Child has gone away ! Now it will begin ! The Child told me all, He spoke earnestly. — I was at the Crib and I felt a great desire to have the Infant Jesus, to talk with Him. When I left the grotto, I was taken up a little hill which stood in the midst of limpid water. The hill was covered with the finest grass, as soft as silk. I thought : How soft it is ! 1 月 1 9 日——「今天,当朝圣者进来时,病人从神视中醒来,她的面容像一个小孩子,半哭半笑,她哀怨地说:『现在我的痛苦开始了!小婴孩已经走了!现在就要开始了!婴孩把一切都告诉了我,祂说得很恳切。——我当时在圣婴摇篮边,非常渴望和圣婴耶稣在一起,想和祂交谈。当我离开洞穴时,我被带到了一座小山,小山丘矗立在清澈的水中。山上长满了最好的草,像丝绸一样柔软。我想:多么柔软啊! just like that under trees, and yet there are no trees here ! I was a little thing in my baby -clothes. I remembered them well — a little blue frock, and I had a switch in my hand. After I had sat there awhile, the Christ-Child came. I spread out my frock and He sat down on it. I cannot say how lovely, how charming the vision was! I cannot forget it and sometimes, even in my pains, I have to laugh for joy. 就像在树下一样,但是这里没有树!我还是个穿着婴儿衣服的小东西。我记得很清楚——那是一件蓝色的小连衣裙,我手里拿着一个开关。我在那里坐了一会儿之后,圣婴来了。我铺开连衣裙,祂就坐在上面。我无法形容这异象是多么可爱,多么迷人!我无法忘记它,有时,即使在我的痛苦中,我回想起当时的情景也会开心地笑。 The Child spoke to me so sweetly, told me all about His Incarnation and His parents ; but He reproached me very gravely for having complained, for being so cowardly. I should think, He said, of how things used to be with Him, what glory He had quitted, what snares had been laid for Him even in His earliest years, and to what a depth He had humbled Himself. 这孩子对我说话是多么温柔啊,他告诉我关于他降生成人的全部,以及他的母亲玛利亚和若瑟的一切;但他非常严肃地责备我,原因是我抱怨了,我是如此懦弱。他说,我应该想一想他过去在人间的生活,他放弃了世上的一切荣耀,魔鬼甚至在他年幼时就为他设置了无数的陷阱,以及他把自已卑微到怎样的地步。 Then He went over His whole childhood. O He told me so many things ! He told me how His coming on earth was retarded, because men opposed obstacles to it, blocked up the way. He spoke of St. Anne's great merit, how high she stands before God, and that she had become the Ark of the Covenant. He told me of Mary and Joseph's hidden, unknown, and despised life ; and then I saw numerous pictures of it all. 然后,祂回顾了祂的整个童年。哦,祂告诉了我很多事情!祂告诉我,祂降临人世的时间是如何被推迟的,因为人们对祂的降临设置了重重障碍,阻住了道路。他谈到圣亚纳的伟大功绩,她在天主面前的地位是多么高,她成了约柜。祂告诉我玛利亚和若瑟隐秘的、不为人知的、被人鄙视的一生;然后,我看到了与这些有关的无数画面。 He related something relative to the Three Kings, of their wanting to take Him and His parents with them when they learned in a dream of Herod's rage. He showed me the treasures they had given Him, the beautiful gold pieces, the pure gold, and all sorts of things, particularly the lovely covers. He spoke of Herod's fury which had blinded him, had driven him to madness, and had made him despatch officers to seek the Child. 祂讲述了与三王有关的一些事情,当他们在梦中得知黑落德王发怒时,他们想要带祂和祂的父母一起走。祂向我展示了三王送给祂的宝物,漂亮的金币,黄金,以及各种各样的东西,尤其是可爱的盖布。祂谈到黑落德的愤怒蒙蔽了他的双眼,使他盲目,使他发疯,并让他派遣官员去寻找这个孩子。 But, as they sought only the son of a king, they passed over the poor little Jewish Babe in the grotto. When Jesus was nine months old, Herod, being still more disquieted and tormented, caused all the infants to be slain.' — Lambert rallies wonderfully from each attack, his wounds have lost their offensive odor and are now healed. He is more calm and serene, whilst Sister Emmerich's malady is greatly aggravated, her cough and hemorrhages more frequent.'' 但是,由于他们只是在寻找一个国王的儿子,他们忽略了洞穴中可怜的犹太小宝宝。耶稣九个月大的时候,黑落德越发不安和痛苦,就叫人把所有的婴儿都杀了。』艾曼丽向朝圣者叙述了以上内容。 现在,艾曼丽修女的病大大加重了,她的咳嗽和出血更加频繁了。兰伯特在每次病情发作中都恢复得很好,他的伤口已经失去了难闻的气味,很快就痊愈了。他更加平静和安详.」 |